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[...]ientific jaws” [<-- Hayward's politically correct and simple fantasy about good and bad]


*body* --> sociohistorical construct & constrain
*embodiment* --> sense of being bodily (pain, ...) [<-- my focus has been on this one more than the other] --> **never embody ironically!** (<-- maybe irony is OK in visual or written medium?)
embodiment goes beyond body (my body is still my body but also not)

to pose
to transpose

in my work, i transpose: walk through readings (=/= transform: performative “true” embodiment)
transposition: a mapping of senses, to change something into another form (+ its foreclosures, refusals, limits) = expressive excitation, provocation of difference that cannot be resolved by penetration or collapsed selves =/= interpenetration

border crossing: forces and excitations of location, of neighborhood

sensation: a composite of affects and percepts

personal =/= individual

Hayward's story is shaped by repression : a wish to be seen as she wants to be seen =/= Sina

story: act of violence and deception

medicalized legacy of transsexual's self-narrativizing --> synchronous field of wrong body-ness ==> account

accurate accounting =/= describe transitional sensations

described: formalistically detailed transpositional

post-animal: the afterward of the animal is meat

bumptious coherence of bodies

(neighborhoods) designed to make some vulnerable while others safe
percussed by bullets or by traffic
*threat as invitation*

جراحی زیبایی who alter themselves through surgeries and hormonoes *to feel themselves differently*
(shia in iran is islam after a cosmetic surgery to feel their religion differently)

*changing sex is about changing senses and species* @Foad

depending on my needs, i pretend not to understand

instrumentalization of animal life
surgically changing body

technique of eschew اجتناب
eschewing a nature or culture distinction

sex in pieces
spheres of imagination

[my work:] transhistorical diagnosis: reading in pieces neighborhoods of imagination (opposed to what is available)

web-building beasts (spiders) [webbing =/=? weaving: a feminine trope?] }--> expression of the body
my fleshy referent 🕷
over-reaching subjects
*spider's web ==propose==> home and territory are of and with the body*
spiders are scenes of arachnophobia and revultion
extending bodily substance through sexual transition
(arrangment of) sensorial milieu of the self + profusion of the world
(trope for fear as emancipation)
an urban designer
weaver of cityscapes
[*]web: skeletalization of the surface, extension of the surface affects of the spider, dynamic threshold of sensibility --Hayward--> (the body is strengthed) react through a spatial and temporal generativity --> body: inter- and intra-threadings of many sensuous vectors that relay like the spider in its web ~= cities, web-builders
*center of her web = her touch world*
-moves quickly, even uncannily, there/then not, sill/in motion, unsettling/reassuring (seems to trap only dust)
*lived-web = optic skin, a resounding connective tissue
(spider's capacities to) create, syncopate, improvise
(spider and me in the appartment) we resonate in relation to our different movements and processes

[*]trap: a mouth, a mode of utterance, the “O” curve of lips and throat that sounds out and names the apprehension of being embodied
--> ***positionality ~/= situatedness = to be trapped*** (to speak and receive ranges of sensuous input from one's environment) --> *our bodies are not endlessly available to intentionality*

[*]articulation: speaking oneself into culture and history, but also creating a site, a gap, making room in cultural and political fabrications, and finding a tempo, a beat

utopic inclusion (sexual, national, racial)
*sexuality imagined as political promise* (radical force of nonnormative sexuality) [=/= (for Freud) sex is regressive]
trans: energetic and fantastic space between objects

(racial, economic) **divisions = dependencies**

(Lyotard: we must) construct the anatomy of polymorphous perversion, unfold the immense membrane of libidinal body =/= system of parts

irreverent intimacies

thresholding: an intensity that must be exceeded for reaction to occur
“here is my home, i am freshly aware that my body is a threshold, an entry between rooms”

limits (of my body) = energized zones

sadomasochism stitches

*carnal improvisation* <-- paradigm of performance art in europe (---> go to karaoke in KHM, role of my body as medium in the circuit of transmissions, poetically imagine the shape of a new pattern)

pastpresent: an always present past in the present

*patterns longer than lived experience*

[*]history: libidinal tracings, erotogenic intensities, psychical cartographies

{ porosity = poiesis }--> collapse the boundary between the embodied self + its world + others ==> consitute a specific place

puberty = the fantasy that this disfiguration will make me more myself
teenager = you spend hours before the refracting reflection of your transmutating *body = your most intimate other* --> enact boundaries, sometimes lovingly, but also brutally

(senses are) reactive to the sensual abundance of the world but limited by affected perceptual milieus

[*]texture: residue of unmetabolized and metabolized sensations of animate forces --> emergence of bodiliness (<-- Hayward's rhetoric)

transitional body = textural body

architecture: the most binding part of the communal rhythm

appearance ~= metonymic
appearance allows her to emerge situationally as a woman, a gendered neighbor, a historical subject

(being under the influence of the moon:) enfleshing elements of your (celestial) environment within yourself and expressing parts of yourself back into the (terrestrial social) environment

identification: “i am like you = i know you” ==> resolve the divide of difference

(let's not make that kind of garden again -->) inclusion in Adam's nameable Eden of belonging (=/= Cinderella's transbestiary)

cross-species rejoiners
mended spiderwebs

Eocene mammalian selves self minor celestial impact world now time species storytelling [source: Esther van Hulsen] error is (still a kind of) expression

human: composites of zoo-intensities, animated movements, bio-differentials

(i always felt like this) my perceptions are refracted through psychic forces
“is everyone staring at the morphing ‘it’ that is me”

(understanding of art in contemporary european performance -->) art = intensifying bodily substance, to resonate otherwise, to feel different corpo(realities) through zones of transition and intervention, provocation = responses to our *capacities to resonate*

...medicalization, recognition, subjectification, instrumentalization, and responsiveness being with animals


what does the maze mean for the rat?
what a maze can mean?

experimental psychology --> subjects conform most often to the expectations of their experimenters [--Despret--> they are *artifactual*]
-*the scientists think that the subject respond to the question that is posed to them, but the subject in fact respond to another question* -->{question that is addressed to them = protocol to which they are submitted}--> they can take a position in relation to what is proposed to them in scientific research [=/= Cinderella's mice subject]

the idea that (the assumption that) their subjects could be influenced by what the scientist was looking for ==> the experimenters tried most often to camouflage the real questions guiding their research
-the assumption that the subjects do not do what they do because the experimenter asked then to do so, but for more abstract and more general reasons ==>ecological validity”
-*the subjects most of the time not only predict what the [...]