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because of working on ajayeb, i am becoming a “definitionist,” or “definitionologist” (not in the classical sense of concept theory)
a definition i give is a local abstraction, even when it is making boundaries for a dispersed or global concept, it is still a situated knowledge. that means it might be categorical but not applicable outside this particulare niche of space and time, whether it is in a bar in a conversation with Eszter or when accessed in my hypertext


committed to the imperative of the Rig, things not to do in the pop-up book:
use as ironic: incongruity in expectations of what is ment and what it will mean in advance
use to symbolize: as a way of not dealing with sujet supposé savoir
use of anamorphic gaze: a non-diffractive optical system
--> to be careful (or keep in check) with sequential palindromic notion of pop-up book, to deal with the parsable seesaw motif inherit in the pop-up book Blickmaschin
use hylomorphic: assumes form is inscribed onto passive matter (by an agent with a design in mind)

(relevance should be worked) non-ironic non-symbolic non-anamorphic non-palindromic non-hylomorphic (?)


towards writing the end of apass dossier
practices: workshops, (bow and arrow,), rigs --> pop-up book, notes, routines, excess,
trajectory: bibliography, wonder, ongoingness, ontology,
productions: study as artwork, reading as artwork, bottom-top approach to writing,
findings: every research practice: must include “body image”, must include “the image of creativity” especially if you are iranian, must employ ontological attention to differential productions, must rework decompose redefine its root-metaphors, must give extensive equipment list, must trace its social connections in a wider ecology of practices, must include a critique of technology,
moments of composition: a scene animated by some quality, or... taking place as accidents (or not)

key literature, magic wands:
1st stage:
Richard Sennett: Flesh and Stonne --> learning about body image
Manuel Delanda: A 1000 Years of Nonlinear History --> learning about material histories
Eduardo Kohn: How Forests Thinks --> learning about semiotics
Timothy Morton: Sublime Objects --> learning about ontology
Avital Ronnel: (lectures and articles) --> learning about poetics
Donna Haraway: (lectures and articles) --> learning about rhetorics
2nd stage:
Martha Kenney: Fables of Attention --> *rationality: mixture of the highly rational and the highly fantastic
Karen Barad: Posthumanist Performativity, Invertebrate Visions --> learning about apparatus
Eva Hayward: visualizing apparatuses --> her interest in optics, in the optics in which marine invertebrates and people come together through visualizing apparatuses
Vinciane Despret: The Becomings of Subjectivity in Animal Worlds --> learning about anthropo-zoo-genetics
Kathleen Stewart: nonrepresentational theory --> other ways of description
Katie King: technologies of writing --> a better thinking of locals and globals

(curiosity ==>) having to figure out how to do something that i don't already know how to do:
ongoingness of collective practices of knowledge and concern
talking about (what is going on with) ajayeb
paying attention to differential ontologies
the stuff that happens through face-to-face colleagueship
to be in productive alliance

unalianated critical work = art

Seifee wants to say something
something wants to say Seifee?

i like us to be skilled at
objective perception
5 minute perception
rigorously passionate perception
rhetorical perception
sacred perception
devilish perception
queer non-perception
having a taste for iranian stuff perception

--> polyskilled web of friends

#Bambi's mother studies:
other stories possibility, past and history, performative approach to film
politics of memory, and affect
patterns of remembrance =/= event recall

three childhood memories, stories, from elementary school:
the mime of “you think (too much)”
the weird pro hit on the coming ball
peeping into the toilet

my childhood recognizing:
filaments (hypha, hyphae, تار) of spider webs
patterns of ants
motion color blurings --> that present is “physical if the eye is quick enough” (Stevens)

the ways i was engaged as a child in scope-apparatus, micro-macro scales

system cosmology hierarchy matter being planet Venus Mars Luna moon [source: Eudes Picard] what other stories, remembrances of the past are possible?
-different apparatuses of attention, reconstruction, and storytelling, that are equipped to hold diffractive patterns of ‘that which comes to mind’


can we care for “iranians” without “for iran?
(i can't care less about Iran)


perhaps artistic research is all about playing cat's cradle (=/= autism) : (you have all sorts of limbs, even phantom limbs) you must learn sustaining the rhythm of accepting and giving, (collaborative) patterning (that requires passion and action) [this is one skill that matters a lot, what i have been trying to teach myself above anything else in the last years] [i am playing that game with Haraway, joining her (and others) in thick, collaborative patterning; generous knottings; thickening the knots, relaying a mutated and resituated pattern for the next play]
getting the knot, proposing another
you must learn how to hold still
(more and more) in different material and conceptual grains of detail and resolution
the most important thing in research practices is this patterning, networks reenacted (Katie King)
(Lili's kiss project was about that, blocked intersubjectivity, a matter of “learning to be affected”; can i say that Lili's issue is with the lack of [psychological, or psychic] dialogue? a language that no longer carries metaphor displaces the metaphorical drive: acting out the soul's metaphor in direct [nonverbal] action. the breath in Lili's work, is the same in her suffocated kiss and scream performance, once hold in and one unleashed, lack of a “breather,” of a “converser,” of a partner in cat's cradle.)--[i like to propose a repatterning: in research environments we play a lot “catch me if you can”: to catching you in action, to capture your ‘knowing’ in action, to capture eros or logos in act, --> #beauty is interested in action]
it is about “understanding living with contradiction” : making choices without necessarily turning the other choices into something an enemy does --> important for collective research life; “[we] need each other's extremes”; *our activisms are not the same*: to open up to our extremes, to open up to what you are not sure of --> to find ways to be in productive alliance (=/= the notion that everybody has to do everything [tell Xiri])
(educating oneself) actually know how to explain what somebody else said and not just what you said*** --> figuring out how to disagree with each other as well as agree, that no statement is going to be taken as evidence of being the enemy (--> we face this in apass)
learning how to recognize authority (as a mentor and participant) (the problem of the inability to deal with authority, common in early feminist movement, traces in Xiri) --> being alert to how hierarchy shut people up that one don't acknowledge the hierarchies that emerge out of that *{alarm ==> hierarchy}*
in apass i am trying to remember what my peers are doing, and when i see things i think of them, and they are in my citation network (they are all over and i am aware of what they have told me. words they are inventing are in my vocabulary too (that is why i am so energetic calling in Xiri's category change --> for example “generous suspicion”)
collective research environment works by networks* (--> a problem with apass)

[*]epistemology = stories knowledges tell

sometimes practices demand:
exclusive expertise (~ focus)
extensive scholarship ==> linking and speculating
attaching unexpected agencies and territories to each other

(better) understanding the mechanisms and affects of inclusion and exclusion in communities of practice
for examp[...]