[...]idea that the ="trms">interaction and ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading doesn't need or must not need learned-efforts or ="trms">skills, that it should be “easy” and “effortless” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> fallacy of the un="trms">skilled ="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">listener.='lgc'>] to engage, ="trms">interact, and get involved with the ="trms">interface, ="trms">data-set, grammar, and ="trms">literacy of (my) reservoir='qstn'>? ='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>** let's ask that ="trms">question with every ="trms">apparatus that engages us into desire, movement, ="trms">articulation, ...
="trms">skills ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to become ‘="trms">literate’ in this particular way ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes this ="trms">situated ="trms">literacy and ="trms">skills of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading particular to the object of “text” (in that case how do i address my ="trms">interest in the ="trms">pervert ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader='qstn'>? the ="trms">skills of the unlearning='strcls'>*)
the ="trms">skills necessary for ='mywrk'>my work to work comes with time, attention, and desire ='lgc'>='lgc'>~-='lgc'>=>='qstn'>? ='at'>#="nms">harem (='lgc'>=/= ladies room)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (2) this ="trms">skills of (my) reservoir, what set of ="trms">questions or problems ="trms">="trms">equip me to address='qstn'>?

varzidan, varz, varzide, ورزیده

="ppl">Sennett's ="trms">love for his subjects is extraordinary (='lgc'>=/= iconoclasm, futurism) and it influences me deeply, his voice and care when he opens his reflection, findings, etc.

="large lg2" stl="font-size:111%"> ok, again, the ‘="trms">skill’ ="trms">question='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•1='lgc'>='lgc'>--> what are the set of ="trms">skills needed for ='mywrk'>my work='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•2='lgc'>='lgc'>--> which problematics these ="trms">skills ="trms">="trms">equip me to address='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•3='lgc'>='lgc'>--> can i (or should i) not know these problematics in advance='qstn'>?

the bow and arrow ='lgc'>--|)='lgc'>-> ='heart'>♥ in my ="nms">apass endweek (as sound object) was a relic of our shared physical energetic space, the nondiscursive ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> how to keep it in="trms">articulate='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•a way to record space, which is always ="trms">social ='lgc'>=/= silenced with no ="trms">agency of the recorder (the “quiet recorder”)
="lsts lst1">•also a playful respective ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading of ="ppl">La Guin, (something that may seem a misunderstanding of her carrier bag theory)
="lsts lst1">•carving out a practice agility area


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the ="trms">question ‘what does X mean='qstn'>?’ is always ‘what does X mean for you='qstn'>?’

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i am following the movement of certain words here

spam ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">internet

spam operates on/with patterns of ="trms">literacy or an existing (in)sufficiencies in known ="trms">categories of cognitive biases that people have

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="large lg6" stl="font-size:110%"> ='lgc'>[title='lgc'>]
“it's your turn now to play”

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(='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Luisa on space,) (="trms">question of='lgc'>:) producing (your) ="trms">presence

="trms">material-discursive ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">semiotic-psychosis ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> her Wortsalad

(="ppl">Bocola > ="ppl">Kohut > Mondrian's bipolar structure='lgc'>:)
creation of universal beauty / ="trms">aesthetic expression of oneself
(='lgc'>=='qstn'>?='lgc'>=> transcend the framework of artistic production)
exhibitionist pole of the self / idealized pole of the self
the grandiose self / the idealized structures
="trms">worldviews / self-images

what is the (diametric, dialectical) ="trms">internal drama of her thinking and work='qstn'>?
(what are='qstn'>?) ="frds scrmbld">Luisa's overarching, idealized conception that lays claim to the validity of her values and standards as applied not only to herself and environment but to the entire universe='lgc'>: (="trms">question of structure)
="lsts lst1">•(pre-babylonian) universal abstractionism ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">embodied knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge
="lsts lst1">•fluid equilibrium ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> movement of Being
='lgc'>[is this a romantic structural attitude='qstn'>?='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-and how is she confronted with ="trms">cosmos ="trms">prior to her inscriptions='qstn'>? (="trms">question of realism)
="prgrph">-what is (the mystery of) a ‘being through ="trms">interpretation’ for her='qstn'>? (="trms">question of performativity)

='lgc'>[rea="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">listic:='lgc'>] to take possession of essential aspects of the external reality (='lgc'>='lgc'>='lgc'>~-> recreate them in the ="trms">imagination) ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">="trms">empirical='qstn'>?='lgc'>]
='lgc'>[structural:='lgc'>] to experience the external reality as parts of an ="trms">interconnected and comprehensive whole
='lgc'>[idea="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">listic/="trms">symbo="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list:='lgc'>] to connect the (inner) particular to the general
='lgc'>[romantic:='lgc'>] to make (inner) invisible visible

="trms">sublimated gratification of instincts, ambitions and ideals, (homogeneous) ="trms">gestalt and expression of the self, ="trms">narcissistic equilibrium, test its viability, haptic art,

“invisible reality and the ="trms">aesthetics of universality” or a mean by which universal is recognized='strcls'>*
timelessness, wholesomeness, indivisibility, ="trms">aesthetic standards
="prgrph">-pictorial thinking, movement thinking, ="trms">affectual thinking, ='lgc'>{='lgc'>='lgc'>--> all issued by ='thdf'>the notion of “pure” and “purity”='qstn'>? tendency toward idealization='qstn'>? utopian='qstn'>?='lgc'>}

movement (the act) ='lgc'>=/= mobility (the possibility)

(is ="frds scrmbld">Luisa ="trms">interested in='qstn'>?) the immanent laws and essential unity of all being

...step to complete nonobjectivity
...objects with their expression of plasticity
="prgrph">-what is the ="trms">symbolic term in her work='qstn'>?
she said='lgc'>: “space is ="trms">literal.” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> the wholesome is proclaimed in the artistic act itself (and not as ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> experienced directly ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">imagined


='lgc'>='lgc'>--> احشايى the ="trms">viscera (ahsha), ="trms">visceral theory='lgc'>: ="trms">affect and ="trms">embodiment, transmissible physical charges, porous bodies,
='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Luisa
kP_AfO7Ms4I

how to create a condition in which she can herself later give access to her thinking and making='qstn'>?
="lstsrd">1- propose a curatorial ="trms">gesture of an assembly='lgc'>: ="frds scrmbld">Luisa, Mondrian, Zen master, Malevich; with ="ppl">Bocola and ="ppl">Ahmed;
="lstsrd">2- to open an investigation of ="trms">affective economies for her='lgc'>: abstraction, constructivism, idealism, ="trms">figurative empathy, ="trms">symbolism, longing,
="lstsrd">3-
="lstsrd">4-

(psychoanalysis ='lgc'>[='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Luisa='lgc'>] allows us to see that) ='strcls'>*emotionality involves movement='strcls'>*
as="trms">sociations whereby “feeling” take us across ="trms">different levels of signification, not all of which can be admitted in the ="trms">present. (='lgc'>+="ppl">Ahmed)
="prgrph">-emotions move back and forth (="trms">past as="trms">sociations, repression traces on ="trms">present) and sideways (sticky as="trms">sociations between figures and signs) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> something as the cause of a feeling in someone ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “involving ="trms">relationships of ='strcls'>*="trms">difference and displacement='strcls'>*='lgc'>{as the form or ="trms">language of the unconscious='lgc'>} without ="trms">positive value” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">affective economies ='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{="trms">social, ="trms">material, psychic='lgc'>}

='lgc'>{ psychoanalysis='lgc'> = "absent ="trms">presence” of ="trms">historicity='lgc'>='lgc'>-->(sideways movement of feelings) ='lgc'>}='lgc'>==offers='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> a theory of emotion as economy='strcls'>***
="prgrph">-by economy, ="ppl">Ahmed means, like capital (is about the movement of commodities and money='strcls'>*), an effect of its circulation (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="frds scrmbld">Luisa)
="prgrph">-the subject is one nodal point in the economy ='lgc'>=/= subject as its o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigin and destination

='strcls'>**the movement between signs converts into ="trms">affect
feeling ='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> fetish commodity

in ="ppl">Freudian model, the movement between objects is ="trms">intrapsychic ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> trace of how ="trms">histories remain alive in the ="trms">present='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>[regarding ="nms">ajayeb's ="trms">histories, ="trms">histories that “stick” and which does not need to be declared, ='at'>#fohshe heyuan/heyvan فحش حیوان/حیوون sideways movements...='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-(="nms">ajayeb's) ="trms">past ="trms">histories of naming

objects, the ="trms">author of emotions



(how) emotions align subjects

_“surfacing” of individual_

(="ppl">Ahmed sug="trms">gests that) emotions are not simply “within” nor “without” but that they create the very effect of the surfaces or boundaries of bodies and ="trms">worlds.

="trms">narrative='lgc'> = production of the ordinary


="lsts lst1">•(which crimes against persons become crimes against place='qstn'>? -‘us’-)
="lsts lst1">•“body of the nation”
="lsts lst1">•s="trms">cene of “our injury” (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> also in ="nms">Iran='lgc'>: “our” ="trms">historical injury)
="lsts lst1">•(the fucking) ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">right to defense ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ‘home’ itself becomes to be mobilized as a defense against terror, becomes transformed into the ="trms">symbolic space of the nation ='at'>#='lgc'>[='thdf'>example of when the approach (to/by objects) itself becomes a fetish object='strcls'>*='lgc'>] ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “staying at home”='lgc'>: a form of mobilization ='lgc'>[='lgc'>-='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='gtrw'>go to three little pigs='lgc'>] ='lgc'>='lgc'>='lgc'>---- “the constitution of open cultures involves the projection of what is closed ="trms">onto others, and hence the concealment of what is closed and contained ‘at home’” (="ppl">Ahmed ='heart'>♥) ='lgc'>{ouvrir le fermé, fermé le ouvert='lgc'>}
="lsts lst1">•alert citizens, amre be ma'ruf va nahye az monkar امر به معروف و نهی از منک ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">meta-="trms">ontology of tosiye توصیه
="lsts lst1">•suspicious others
="lsts lst1">•saving women from ="trms">religious fundamentalism
="lsts lst1">•negativity of latent (could-be-ness ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> opens up the power to detain, police pishgiri پلیس پیشگیری)


o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigins of bad feeling
threat to violate the pure bodies ='lgc'>[vulnerable and damaged bodies of the white woman and ="trms">child='lgc'>]

='strcls'>*="trms">affect is economic='strcls'>* ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> it circulates between signifiers in ="trms">relationships of ="trms">difference and displacement ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> they align subjects ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> effect of collective ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (in Ahemd's economical model of emotions) they work to bind subjects together ='lgc'>: the nonresidence of emotions is what makes them “binding” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> her notion of economy ='lgc'>=/= ='lgc'>{inside/outside model ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">positive residence of emotions='lgc'>: “I have an emotion” or “something makes me feel a certain way"='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “fear does not come from within the subject, nor does it reside in its object”
="prgrph">-(='lgc'>[='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda's take on witness='lgc'>] alignment of the individual with the collective='lgc'>:) the accumulation of ="trms">affective value shapes the surfaces of bodies and ="trms">worlds; ="trms">affect generates the surfaces of collective bodies (='lgc'><='lgc'>==allows='lgc'>== not to locate ="trms">affect in a subject or object) ='lgc'>='lgc'>='lgc'>~='lgc'>~='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='lgc'>[to initiate with ="frds scrmbld">Hoda an examination of the) ='strcls'>*mobility of bodies of subjects='strcls'>* (in the West or her regions ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">question of the mediatization of her emotional experiences='lgc'>}

='strcls'>*emotions ‘involve’ subjects and objects='strcls'>*

what constructs emotions as ="trms">positive or negative residence='qstn'>?

='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]psychoanalysis='lgc'>: a theory of the subject as lacking ="trms">positive residence
(this ‘lack’ is commonly ="trms">articulated as the “unconscious”='lgc'>: in ="ppl">Freudian terms, where an ="trms">affective impulse is perceived but misconstructed, and which becomes attached to another idea. ='lgc'>[can i say that ='mywrk'>my work in ="nms">ajayeb, which i named it as ‘organizing my ="trms">memory, and also, that which comes to mind’ is all about this reconstruction of cognizeds and percepts='qstn'>? is that why i am having less and less unconsciousness in my daily life='qstn'>?!='lgc'>])
="prgrph">-cognizant agah آگاه
="prgrph">-in ="ppl">Freud's model of unconsciousness, the ="trms">affect itself is not repressed, rather, what is repressed is the idea to which the ="trms">affect was attached ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> displacement

(="ppl">Lacan's) subject='lgc'>: proper s="trms">cene of absence and loss='strcls'>*
a theory of the subject that the locus of the signifier settles ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> constitution of the subject as “settlement”

(='lgc'>[what is='qstn'>?='lgc'>] ="frds scrmbld">Eszter's ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">right and will to keep looking for signs of ="trms">difference. ='lgc'>--when she was talking about idio="trms">syncrasies of her countries)
='strcls'>*='lgc'>[with ="frds scrmbld">Eszter's “the nation has suffered enough!"='lgc'>] ='lgc'>--="ppl">Lezra='lgc'>='lgc'>--> politics in a sense is precisely concerned with what is or is not ='strcls'>*enough='strcls'>*
“it's enough!” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='at'>#="trms">demand something or before which I make a claim. it is practical (even ="trms">technical) or is dealing with being practical
the haunting modifier of “enough”
the ='strcls'>*amount='strcls'>* of something (-of suffering in this case) ='lgc'><='lgc'>-- “That's enough coffee”
="prgrph">-we are dealing with ="trms">materiality and ="trms">measure
='lgc'>{has that anything to do with the enough of ="frds scrmbld">Ekaterina's “good-enough mothers”='qstn'>?='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> true enough-ness for an effect to be achieved

model of emotion ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> ="trms">materialization of bodies

(emotions construct) bodies as ‘enveloped’

in standard psychological model, fear ‘has’ an object
='strcls'>*(="ppl">Ahmed's) fear='lgc'>: “passing by” (='lgc'>=/= arriving) of the object, impossibility of containment of object

="trms">anxiety is an approach to objects ='lgc'>=/= fear is an object's approach

in ="ppl">Freud='lgc'>: self is made by the fear of father


="ppl">Ahmed's model of ‘impact of fear’
fear does not leat to containment but an expansion ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> his/her embrace of the ="trms">world
="lsts lst1">•being sealed into a body that takes up less space!
='strcls'>**fear works to restrict some bodies through the movement or expansion of others='strcls'>** (="trms">interesting for ="frds scrmbld">Mona's work)
='lgc'>[structural possibility:='lgc'>] proximity of fear-object ='lgc'>--is='lgc'>='lgc'>--> possibility of future injury

impressions of coherence, “sticking together”
(that is perhaps why ="trms">dictionaries and ="trms">bestiaries are ="trms">interesting='lgc'>: because their elements do not “stick together” in the sense of an ="trms">affective economy ='lgc'>[of inquiry and ="trms">narrative='lgc'>] ='at'>#="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">lists)

="large lg14" stl="font-size:105%">
="trms">ontology of insecurity ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (naratives of) crisis ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> “return” (to values) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> fetish
="prgrph">-production of crisis is crucial for insecurity
="prgrph">-declaration/announcement of ='strcls'>*crisis='strcls'>* ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reads the fact/figure/event and transforms is into a fetish object that then acquires a life of its own
="prgrph">-it must be presumed that things are not secure, in and of themselves, in order to justify the imperative to make things secure (again)='lgc'>='lgc'>-->(the word “again” in the ="trms">rhetoric of safty becomes itself the fetish object with its own life)
='lgc'>[security is bound up with “the not (me/us)"='lgc'>]

="large lg38" stl="font-size:104%"> being invaded by inappropriate others ='lgc'>[in ="trms">histories of ="nms">Iranian modes of ="trms">intersubjectivity='lgc'>: ‘being invaded by the appropriate other’ ='lgc'>='lgc'>~=='qstn'>? being of Tasavof, ='at'>#slave manifesto, let me know if you want me to kill your master.='lgc'>]

(in the 1999 film Matrix we see the image of the ‘strengthening the will’ of the human ="trms">community in the face of the nunhuman machine others='lgc'>: Matrix ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> “us”)
(Matrix's) narative logic of an ="trms">internal strength being ="trms">posited as ="trms">responsible for recovery, survival, and moving forward of the human race. (='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Maarten, displacements of weakness and strength)

values that garantee survival
="trms">technologies that garantee survival
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> they become moral


those who____
speak (against) the “truth” of the ="trms">world, cause the “ruin” of the ="trms">world

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say your name before talking
it's a Q and A, a ="trms">lecture
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> it is a violent day
asking for your name is intrusive enough, even before asking where you come from ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='at'>#estizah='lgc'>]


(learning from ="ppl">Heidegger='lgc'>:) abbreviation is al="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready an effect of ="trms">technology
case of Germany specially
and persian san'at (صنعت ="trms">techniques and ="trms">technologies) of subject-making
="lsts lst1">•‘is’ ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> information ="trms">system
="lsts lst1">•‘ich’ ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> intangible cultural ="trms">heritage


='lgc'>[='at'>#contract, concerning modalities of being-with:='lgc'>] ="trms">anxiety, Sorge, (='lgc'>~ care='qstn'>?) is ='strcls'>*disclosive='strcls'>*, for ="ppl">Heidegger, is an ="trms">ontologically fundamental mood that opens you up to the possibility of understanding, ="trms">anxiety is the leading mood that allows understanding
(in ="ppl">Heidegger) ="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> understanding
(in ="trms">Farsi) negarani نگرانی ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> vision بینندگی ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> basirat بصیرت ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> ta'amol تأمل (modalities of meditation and speculation)
(in psychoanalysis) ="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>=/= fear
(in capitalism) ="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> boredom ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> capital
(in settler white colonialism) ="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> safty
(in ="ppl">Ahmed) ="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> approach to objects
(in ="ppl">Ahmed) fear/="trms">anxiety ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> effect of “that which I am not”

(ghol قول, gharar قرار, gharardad قرارداد ='lgc'>[='lgc'>~ that which is promised by the ghol='lgc'>], ghovate ghalb قوت قلب) contracts also come to reassure, otherwise we might be in the radically open space of psychosis.
='strcls'>***contracts, they disambiguate the space='strcls'>***
='lgc'>{='lgc'>+='lgc'>} (pointed out by ="ppl">Derrida='lgc'>:) “contract” is less terrorizing than assuming that there is something ="trms">natural that binds us... (='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Luisa) contract is a non-="trms">natural conventional object. (the textual ="trms">nature of contracts allows it to be ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read, ="trms">written, re="trms">written, reformatted and rearranged.)='prcnt'>%='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{ontic ='and'>& ="trms">ontologic='lgc'>}
="lsts lst1">•what kinds of violations does the contract capaciously in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes in itself='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•there is nothing ="trms">natural about here and us being here. (spatiotemporally clock tells us not only what time it is, but also where and who we are='lgc'>: how “time-teller” is spatially architecturally phallically ="trms">positioned='lgc'>: in the center, on the top, wrapped around the body, and so on.)


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='lgc'>[="nms">apass opening week 08.05.2017, (my ="trms">response to) what is “artistic research”='qstn'>?='lgc'>] artistic research is a fancy way of transforming your “weird feelings” about the ="trms">world into an “inquiry,” so to say, and at the same time resist to be faithful to standard accounts of what counts as a “="trms">serious knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge claim.” So it in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes a lot of messy thinking-feeling, ="trms">embodied practices, ="trms">affects, ="trms">poeticity, semi-="trms">scientific work, magic, ="trms">data collection, mutative ="trms">interpretative ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading, forgetting things, detours, rituals, dead-ends, ="trms">writing under the influence of scarce foreign obscure philosophies, ="trms">literary ="trms">drugs, and boldly using ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors from ="trms">different disciplines of “study” that one can find. So, on the one hand, it is a term, invented to indicate a “fluid ="trms">modern personality” within a turn in humanity studies that opens up to ‘what an artist al="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready knows’ or ‘what an artist is allowed not to know’ within their ="trms">specific ="trms">historically ="trms">situated set of tools. And, on the other hand, it indicates an important shift in the education of art, in which the attitude of the artist changes='lgc'>: instead of making things into a “resource” for artistic creation, rather making things into a “topic.” That means a whole new set of ="trms">relationalities and new forms of attention need to be learned and cultivated, which were ="trms">historically often absent in the education of art.


="prgrph">-i want to bring a circus inside ='lgc'>{='lgc'>='lgc'>--> within='lgc'>}
="prgrph">-my business still with ="trms">aesthetics (my own image) (="trms">narcissistic stuff...)
="prgrph">-to show up as a guy, castrated and very advanced (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> you can only come up castrated unless you are extremely advanced, ='at'>#="nms">harem stuff)
="prgrph">-i am trying to come forward with all the ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigor and ="trms">rhetorics available to me

the death score

="frds scrmbld"nttrm="Leonardo">Leo correcting his proper name in my mouth. (sig="trms">nature='lgc'>: master of your name ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> master of your house)
="frds scrmbld"nttrm="Leonardo">Leo named his future projection='lgc'>: “Empathos="trms">cene”
='lgc'>[sometimes your name is the first doorkeeper (as in ="ppl">Kafka'a Turhüter)='lgc'>]

="frds scrmbld">Eszter's ‘what is there as an obstacle to the freedom of man (='qstn'>?)’ (="trms">question marked by me)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> the spatial ="trms">gesture of the ‘stop’ (='at'>#="frds scrmbld">Selma)

="frds scrmbld">Maarten's version of confusion (stated by himself) is due to that='lgc'>: the messianic horizon is essentially confusing (='qstn'>?)
his auto="trms">poiesis and cognitions

="frds scrmbld">Nicolas's notion of “leaking” has to do with marginal non-textual non-accounted-for moments that bleed in absolute non-contractual and non-appropriable event='qstn'>? (the so-called moment when we show things to each other)
="lsts lst1">•his ‘climate of creativity'='lgc'>='lgc'>='lgc'>~='lgc'>~='lgc'>~_='lgc'>[what does ‘criticism’ mean for him='qstn'>?='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•when he says “="trms">gesture,” is he accessing ‘="trms">gesture’ having an uncalculable ="trms">semiotic value ='lgc'>=/= ‘performance’ that can be ="trms">measured in economical terms='qstn'>? ='lgc'>[but, what kind of consequential work is ="trms">gesture doing='qstn'>?='lgc'>]
(="frds scrmbld">Nicolas's order of inquiry and discovery)
(='lgc'>='lgc'>--> what is at stake is how do you locate the effects of your work. for ="frds scrmbld">Nicolas it is locate at the “sides” ='lgc'>[which is al="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready problematically pre="trms">positioned outside of him='lgc'>] ='lgc'>--="ppl">Ahmed='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ab object can be ="trms">affective by virtue of its own ='strcls'>*location='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[...='lgc'>] and the ='strcls'>*timing='strcls'>* of its appearence)
='lgc'>[the ‘image of the ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigid’ in his ="trms">presentation='lgc'>]

="frds scrmbld">Kristien's chart='lgc'>:
="trms">questions ='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">symptoms
answers ='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> openings
="trms">past ='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> diary

for ="frds scrmbld">="frds scrmbld">Lilia='lgc'>: ="trms">apparatus='lgc'> = score
for ="frds scrmbld">Eszter='lgc'>: ="trms">apparatus='lgc'> = preparation ='lgc'>{='lgc'>--='qstn'>?='lgc'>='lgc'>--> everything depends on the ways we prepare='lgc'>}
for ="frds">Sina='lgc'>: ="trms">apparatus='lgc'> = (chaotic/strange) attractor
for ="frds scrmbld">Hoda='lgc'>: ="trms">apparatus='lgc'> = negative feelings
for
for
(other non-="ppl">Agambenian notions of ="trms">apparatus='lgc'>: ="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King's, ="ppl">="ppl">Barad's, ="ppl">Wark's)
='lgc'>[="ppl">Agamben still thinks of structure in ="ppl">Euclidian terms, pre-chaos theory and fractal ="trms">geometry of (non)equilibrium. thermal chaos and dynamic ="trms">system theory has changed the ways we think about global/local stabilities, discontinuities and noise. ="trms">sym="trms">poiesis is another one.='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-with ‘="trms">apparatus’ what is at stake='lgc'>: flow of energy, order, waste, transformation,

="frds scrmbld">Vladimir's tether on disambiguity

="frds scrmbld">Elen, adding her own wheels to the flow(s)
and putting a stick/spoke in a rolling wheel (of others='qstn'>?) ='lgc'>[her saboteur trends, چوب لای چرخ (='lgc'>=/=='qstn'>? kharab-kari خراب کاری), what is chub lay-e charkh for her='qstn'>? vandalizing the discourse of others='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-the famous vandal of wikipedia with the recursive name “-on wheels” (Willy on Wheels, adding “on wheels” to the title of every single page, using the move function of Wikipedia='lgc'>: renaming the existing title ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> moved to another namespace, without changing the base title)
="prgrph">-like myself, her saboteurs are critically not ="trms">symbolic nor ontic, rather sometimes ="trms">epistemic, or better, ="trms">ontologic='lgc'>: they don't vandalize the “thing” itself, but the “="trms">nature of the properties” that constructs that thing for us
="prgrph">-rocket sculture (what does it mean for her='qstn'>?)


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='lgc'>[the ="trms">question of inevitability of ="trms">anthropical view='lgc'>]
there is no final answer to a kind of ="trms">question but a lot of answers
through inhabiting a figure you are ="trms">crafting you find yourself addressing a set of problems
="trms">agency='lgc'>: liveliness of artifacts (='qstn'>?). there is some kind of liveliness that is both human and nonhuman
the kind of ="trms">sociality that joins two ="trms">categorically separate mode of ="trms">agencies, is a ="trms">sociality that constitutes both ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> the ="trms">interaction of humans and machines produced both ='lgc'>=/= unilateral action
(my whole point or ="trms">joke, with the bow and arrow was that the arrow of index finger does not move in one way.)
='lgc'>[='lgc'>=/= another mode that comes to mind is when your intimacy making leads always to yourself, getting laid, ="trms">literally. that is when your concern becomes only you and someone, sexually ="trms">interested ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> economically, and you don't concern the ="trms">sociality of your people with each other. ='at'>#="trms">techno-capital singular subjectivity ='at'>@='lgc'>='lgc'>--> this is super relevant for ="frds scrmbld">Sven, maybe='lgc'>: how one becomes ="trms">interested, invested, and ="trms">skillful in provoking ="trms">interesting ="trms">socialities for friends and peers='lgc'>--and not only for oneself='qstn'>? creating, inciting zones of connectivity='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-='lgc'>[it was not accidental that the ="trms">rhetoric of ="trms">drugs came up with ="frds scrmbld">="frds scrmbld">Lilia when I sug="trms">gested the attention to ="trms">anthropos ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> what figures human and otherwise was for her the subject of ="trms">drug-induced ="trms">rhetoric of mind-alteration; (this is the ="trms">anthropos of the Enlightenment Europeans and classical Greece talking='lgc'>:) “in order to get rid of me you must take ="trms">drugs!” ='at'>#="trms">fable/_ ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> being sober(='qstn'>?!), ="trms">anthropos becoming, human ="trms">nature, common sense, ="trms">="trms">empiricism and ="trms">interpretation are at stake here='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-='lgc'>[another thing was the label of “="trms">animal” that was passed around as a form of mock, instead of provocations for more conversation, I was stupefied. ='lgc'>--how can we go on together and not render each other commitments nonsense='qstn'>?='lgc'>]


“point of view” is an important ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor


='at'>#in ='mywrk'>my work in ="nms">apass i am working on descriptive practices ='lgc'>[="trms">poetics of ="trms">animal description, ="trms">histories of nonhuman inscription, etc.='lgc'>] to learn to name latent (and therefore emergent) ="trms">ontologies, to name ‘what we are doing in new ways,’ which are hard to name. (also refusing not to name the violences of others and yourself. to reckon the ="trms">nature and scope of the erasures we do in our works.) ='prcnt'>% why do you think that is important='qstn'>?
='at'>#and my shift of attention to peer's works is about that='lgc'>: our domain of practices must make claim on each other ='lgc'><='lgc'>== we inhabit ="trms">differences together (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> attention and work on='lgc'>:) ‘local ="trms">category abstractions’ (how do we talk and make each other feel our subjects of ="trms">interest in ="nms">apass for example) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (the cumulative, as="trms">sociated and sensed) ="trms">routines, ="trms">gestures, and (="trms">inter)surfaces of our everyday life in ="nms">apass, as a group of rese="trms"nttrm="search">archers, that don't necessarily align ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> ="trms">worlding comes from these things.
='lgc'>[attunement ='lgc'>=/= argument='lgc'>]


the name of the ="trms">world is “detail”


='strcls'>***="trms">translation (essentailly imperfect) is the very condition of signification ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">trope is the very condition of ="trms">language

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="large lg46" stl="font-size:129%">
don't be docile bodies or innocent bystander, do what you have to do to constitute your courage
all i am saying is that='lgc'>: it is not clear what the destiny of art (or of anything) is

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perhaps what i am trying to learn='lgc'>--with ="nms">apass, ="nms">ajayeb, ="trms">writing, ="nms">harem, etc='lgc'>--is to ask what do i need='lgc'>--which ="trms">skills, abilities, or ="trms">literacies='lgc'>--to become ="trms">="trms">equipped to share the experience of the habits of the ="trms">world (of ="nms">ajayeb) that i am discovering

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="frds scrmbld">Luisa='lgc'>: “the visual (side)effects of a ‘not being supported’”
effect ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> object ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> suport ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> object2 ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> suport3 ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> suport4 ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ...
(at one point ="frds scrmbld">Marialena pulling away a support box ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> ="frds scrmbld">Luisa's cry sound side-effect of a ‘not being supported’)
="lsts lst1">•='qstn'>?how is it done for her='lgc'>: construction of in="trms">different objects
="lsts lst1">•which import function is ="trms">materializing her ‘objects’='qstn'>? ='lgc'>[public import='lgc'>]



I want my friends to become marvelous thinkers makers, I want them to ask ="trms">interesting ="trms">questions



="large lg26" stl="font-size:129%"> ="frds scrmbld">Esta='lgc'>: “when we enter the ="trms">presentation we are rese="trms"nttrm="search">archers, we are not friends” ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “neutrality” of encounter='lgc'>]
(but i want to explore new places in ='mywrk'>my work with the people who care for you)
(is this at all possible='qstn'>? to enter with friends a non-friend zone='qstn'>?)

in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion ='lgc'>=/= involvement
(in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion usually mistaken as ="trms">literally for physical in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion)



How ="frds scrmbld">Kobe's work can move from a “case-finder ="trms">agency” to a consequential work='qstn'>? ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">storytellings for making consequential meanings='strcls'>*='lgc'>] that means='lgc'>: what does it mean to live in the consequences of the ="trms">relations one is enacting='qstn'>?
(when I look at my friends and peers in ="nms">apass, I can see and feel the knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges they inhabit in their bodies and the living effects of their ="trms">languages. I re-figurally feel the figures they ="trms">embody and their objects whether they assist or resist states of transformation.)


ephemeral things become food

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="frds scrmbld">Esta, risking one's life


="large lg34" stl="font-size:134%"> ='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda, ="frds scrmbld">Xiri,
='thdf'>the idea of “express its inner experience”
simulation of

="frds scrmbld">Xiri's sense of entitlement to accusation


='at'>@="frds scrmbld"nttrm="Leonardo">Leo, ="trms">fiction of sharing
‘something tangible, like a meal’
something phantasmatically hooked up to libidinal openness, like a ="trms">drug


='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Elen, DUI='lgc'>: driving under influence, what are we on when they were driving her cars
DUI has become the pharmecy take on ="trms">drugs to take away and winning the ="trms">drug war
movement under influence, MUI
legelized use of motor activity
driving while impaired/driving while intoxicated (DWI)
drink-driving (UK)
driving risky (DR)
drunk driver (DD)

='thdf'>the notion of game and rule for ="frds scrmbld">Elen and ="frds scrmbld">Luisa and ="frds scrmbld">Eszter='lgc'>: it is until ages of 3 and 6 that ="trms">children must not play by rules, and only after that the concept of rule-based-games (such as sports) should be introduced to them. what does that say about our artistic environment when we talk rules or breaking rules='qstn'>?
i am becoming more ="trms">interested in the ‘rules’ that the artist (or non-artist) is proposing, and not my own ‘freedom’ in their work. what does it mean or do to become ="trms">interested in the ='strcls'>*freedom of others='strcls'>* and not yourself='qstn'>? ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> paying attention to the most implicit rules of your game, that means i am paying attention to your freedom that has ="trms">articulated itself in the creative ="trms">gesture


instead of (the “how” of) “how do i show my ="trms">interested texts='qstn'>?” (which was proposed in ="frds scrmbld">Maarten's exhibition of ="trms">poems) i like to ask (the “what” of) “what requires ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading='qstn'>?” (also ='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Sven) (my kill-joys in ="nms">apass ... am i being too ="trms">ontologic with everything='qstn'>? ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> I am operating from the ="trms">position that understanding ="trms">materials, practices, and ="trms">interpretation implies ="trms">questioning ="trms">ontological assumption ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> challenge concepts)

="large lg50" stl="font-size:104%">
='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Eszter='lgc'>: is there a notion of ‘="trms">natural’ embeded in her ‘compelled’='qstn'>? there is nothing ="trms">natural about us being here, there is nothing ="trms">natural about here
="lsts lst1">•cognitivism='lgc'>: (when talking of re="trms">presentation) a psychology of doing which emphasizes human cognition endowment enabling man to develop intellectually ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> classifications (are easy seen) as properties of mind ='lgc'>=/= classifications as ="trms">materials or ="trms">materially textured ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “a common way to hear people's experience of this ="trms">materiality is through ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors. So the generation of ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors is closely linked with the shift to texture.” (="ppl">="ppl">Bowker)
="lsts lst1">•behaviorism='lgc'>: a theory of doing that focuses on objectively observable behaviors and discounts independent activities of the minds involved in the doing

='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='qstn'>? behavioral ="trms">intervention
(footnote on) behavior therapy ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> breaking one's loops (of='lgc'>: reverie ='lgc'>[mind fleeing across se="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cluded planes='lgc'>], reaction to stimuli ='lgc'>[overwhelmed by the speech of the others ='lgc'>~ ="trms">neurosis='lgc'>], distorted thinking ='lgc'>[overstressed emotional reasoning='lgc'>], , ,)
='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]behavior therapy='lgc'>: treatment of ="trms">neurotic ="trms">symptoms by training the patient's reactions to stimuli ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*cognitive restructuring='strcls'>* could help ="frds scrmbld">Eszter in her artwork='qstn'>? (to reestablish the ="trms">relationships between stimuli and ="trms">responses)
(="trms">techniques='lgc'>:)
="lsts lst1">•counterconditioning
="lsts lst1">•punishment (operant conditioning)
="lsts lst1">•habituation
="lsts lst1">•functional analysis
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*behavior ="trms">intervention plans='strcls'>*
="lsts lst1">•automatic thought record
="lsts lst1">•

="large lg14" stl="font-size:104%"> i can only guess (with cognitive therapy) at the ="trms">interior landscape of her reverie, her ="trms">internal reality (='lgc'>='lgc'>~= psyche) ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> i am reminded by this again that knowing anyone's psyche is impossible, as in psychology is an impossible ="trms">science='lgc'>]
='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]cognitive therapy='lgc'>: identifying and changing unhelpful or inaccurate thinking, problematic behavior, and ='strcls'>*distressing emotional ="trms">responses='strcls'>*
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning to monitor thoughts (in three layers='lgc'>:)
="lstsrd">1. core belief ='lgc'>[deepest level of our thinking, underlying self-values and perceptions of the ="trms">world, have an absolute quality='lgc'>: “I am worthless.” “I am inadequate.” “if I fail, I am worthless.” “I am unsafe in the ="trms">world.” etc.='lgc'>]
="lstsrd">2. ="trms">intermediate beliefs ='lgc'>[expectations and assumptions, guidelines we follow, maintaining our ="trms">anxiety and depression='lgc'>: “Always look for d="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger and expect it to be there.” “If I don't understand something perfectly, then I'm dumb.” etc.='lgc'>]
="lstsrd">3. automatic thoughts ='lgc'>[immediate thoughts that go through our mind in ="trms">response to a ="trms">situation, usually negative and un="trms">questioned='lgc'>: “She thinks I'm weird.” “I won't pass that test.” “This is too hard. I'll never understand this.” etc.='lgc'>]

types of automatic thoughts='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•evaluation (evaluative thoughts)
="lsts lst1">•coping strategies
="lsts lst1">•avoidance
="lsts lst1">•

="large lg38" stl="font-size:122%"> ='lgc'>[cognitive distortions='lgc'>]
typical mistakes in thinking='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*all or nothing='strcls'>* / all-or-none thinking (“If I'm not a total success, I'm a fai="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*catastrophizing='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> middle eastern fortune-telling, omen, foretell the future='lgc'>] ( “I'll be so upset, I won't be able to function at all.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*disqualifying the ="trms">positive='strcls'>* (="trms">positive experiences do not count='lgc'>: “I did that project well, but that doesn't mean I'm competent; I just got lucky.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*emotional reasoning='strcls'>* (“I know I do a lot of things okay at work, but I still feel like I'm a fai="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*labeling='strcls'>* (“I'm a loser.” “He's no good.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*magnification/minimization='strcls'>* (“Getting a mediocre evaluation proves how inadequate I am. Getting high marks doesn't mean I'm smart.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*mental filter='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[selective abstraction='lgc'>] (“Because I got one low rating on my evaluation it means I'm doing a lousy job.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*mind ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[="trms">narcissism='lgc'>] (believe to know what others are thinking='lgc'>: “He's thinking that I don't know the first thing about this project.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*over="trms">generalization='strcls'>* (“='lgc'>[Because I felt uncomfortable at the meeting='lgc'>] I don't have what it takes to make friends.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*personalization='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[="trms">narcissism='lgc'>] (believe others are behaving negatively because of you='lgc'>: “The repairman was curt to me because I did something wrong.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*should/must='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[imperatives='lgc'>] (having a fixed idea of how you or others should behave='lgc'>: “It's terrible that I made a mistake. I should always do my best.”)
="lsts lst1">•='strcls'>*tunnel vision='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[cyclopean view='lgc'>] (“My son's teacher can't do anything ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">right. He's critical and insensitive and lousy at teaching.”)


what is the most central belief about herself='qstn'>?
which experiences contributed to the development and maintenance of the her belief='qstn'>?
which ="trms">positive assumption helped her cope with the core belief='qstn'>?
what is the negative counterpart to this assumption='qstn'>?
which behaviors help her cope with the belief='qstn'>?

='strcls'>*basically there is often no evidence that the automatic thought is true

http://static1.squarespace.com/static/521a7b2ee4b0ee587906d191/t/5774531e03596e22f1d2c844/1467241246388/CBT='lgc'>+Case='lgc'>+Conference='lgc'>+Handouts-1.pdf


(a deep problem with behavior analysis is that it comes from the study of ="trms">animal learning in the 20th century... observing cats trying to escape from home-made puzzle boxes, and things like that)


(for ="frds scrmbld">Eszter='lgc'>:) complex ='lgc'>='lgc'>~= coherent (='lgc'>=/= ='strcls'>*contradictory='strcls'>*)

="frds scrmbld">Eszter could benefit from learning about collective behavior ="trms">sociology
/individual behavior is completely unpre="trms">dictable
/collective behavior is to a large extent pre="trms">dictable

contagion ='lgc'>=/= convergence
(Kelile Demne='lgc'>: evil is convergent)

='strcls'>*contagion='lgc'>: crowds exert a hypnotic influence over their ="trms">members
='strcls'>*convergent='lgc'>: people who want to act in a certain way come together ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> crowd diffuse ="trms">responsibility but the behavior itself is claimed to o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">riginate within the individuals
='strcls'>*emergent-norm='lgc'>: people find themselves in a vague, ambiguous, confusing ="trms">situation ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> new norms “emerge” on the spot, which may be at odds with normal ="trms">social behavior
='strcls'>*value-added='lgc'>: release valve سوپاپ for built-up tension within ="trms">community
='strcls'>*complex adaptive ="trms">systems='lgc'>: auto="trms">poiesis or self-creation of patterns and new entities

="large lg38" stl="font-size:100%"> ="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

(footnote on) personality disorder
deviating from ‘orders’ accepted by the individual's culture
="prgrph">-your distinguished and enduring behavioral and mental traits that differ from ="trms">social norms and expectations
it is in ="trms">relation to others ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> cognition, emotiveness, ="trms">interpersonal functioning, impulse control ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> personal, ="trms">social, occupational disruption

egosyntonic personality disorders are most difficult to treat (such as='lgc'>: ="trms">narcissistic personality disorder, anorexia, gambling problem)

='strcls'>*egosyntonic='lgc'>: in harmony with the needs and goals of the ego ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> defences ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> maladaptive coping ="trms">skills ='lgc'>='lgc'>~='lgc'>=> ="trms">anxiety, distress, depression='lgc'>]
='strcls'>*egodystonic='lgc'>: in conflict with the needs and goals of the ego, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image

="large lg26" stl="font-size:131%"> obsessive-compulsive disorder ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> egodystonic
obsessive-compulsive personality disorder ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> egosyntonic

="ppl">Freud='lgc'>: psychic conflict arising when the o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">riginal lagging instincts come into conflict with the ego (or egosyntonic instincts) ='lgc'>[such as='lgc'>: erection problem ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> egodystonic='lgc'>]

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='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]personality disorder='lgc'>: (a type of psychological disorder generally defined by) the lack of insight into the disorder

borderline personality disorder ='lgc'>=/= shades of gray
(a view that sees) significances as unfair and uncaring (devaluation) or flawless (idealization)
(a standardized criteria of diagnosis since 1980) a certain class of ="trms">neurotics who, when in crisis, appeared to straddle the borderline into psychosis
fluctuation in identity ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> chaotic identity (='lgc'>=/= chaotic ="trms">imagination)
='strcls'>*the most treatment-resistant personality type='strcls'>*
="prgrph">-75 percent in female patients
="prgrph">-related to neglect in ="trms">childhood

borderline personality disorder often comes with very smart people
borderline personality ='lgc'>+ high intelligence ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=>
="lsts lst1">•parakandegi-e zehn پراکندگی ذهن sporadic and dispersed mind ='lgc'>--='not'>✕='lgc'>='lgc'>--> hadaf jahat kushesh fa'aliat هدف جهت کوشش فعالیت having a target, direction, effort, activity
="lsts lst1">•going from one thing to another without consistency in life باری به هر جهت

borderline personality disorder ='lgc'>+ ="trms">narcissistic personality disorder ='lgc'>[seeing people from top to down='lgc'>] ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> winning arguments by mixing ="trms">imagination and reality, saying everything they like to others
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (donya-e zehni) a mental ="trms">world in which ="trms">imagination and reality are not distinguish (='lgc'>='lgc'>='lgc'>~-> lying)

(a nontherapeutic approach) to turn the borderline into ="trms">storyteller='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•dis="trms">sociation ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> impossible as="trms">sociation
="lsts lst1">•disconnection as a state of consciousness ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> impossible connection
="lsts lst1">•lying as a feature ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">fabulation
="lsts lst1">•manipulative behavior ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">articulative
="lsts lst1">•="trms">demand ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> performance
="lsts lst1">•chaotic identity ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> chaotic ="trms">imagination
="lsts lst1">•ذهن پراکنده (sporadic mind) ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ذهن انحرافی (deviant mind)
="lsts lst1">•sensitivity (of thin or no psychological skin) ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> sensibility
="lsts lst1">•

a therapeutic approach to borderline personality='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•dialectical behavior therapy (='lgc'><='lgc'>--='qstn'>?='lgc'>-- mindfulness)
="lsts lst1">•


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='prcnt'>%notes on ='at'>#workshop of ="trms">question (HWD)
="prgrph">-how come in my drawing class participancts couldn't even hold the pen
="prgrph">-participants lenzes couldn't focus, the words were in b="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lur and in disarray
="prgrph">-i had to stop free as="trms">sociations and ="trms">staggerings, and return to the task at hand
="prgrph">-it was like teaching a new ="trms">language
="prgrph">-i was trying to share my methorodlogy, ="trms">specificly. not a jam session
="prgrph">-is it neccesory or ="trms">interesting to learn eachother ="trms">methodlogies in order to get involved and engagned in eachother practices='qstn'>? maybe not ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> go back to re="trms">presentational tools ='lgc'>--are re="trms">presentational tools the best we have='qstn'>? or maybe, structurally we can't give workshop in ="nms">apass HWDs or endweeks, because participants are not there by free will that is usually mobilising them to look for and join a workshop that they are ="trms">interested in.

='prcnt'>%(am I='qstn'>?) ‘coming back with advices’ in ='mywrk'>my work ='lgc'>[='lgc'>[='at'>#="frds scrmbld">Esta='lgc'>]='lgc'>]

is it ="trms">interesting for me or ='mywrk'>my research to think about how we moved that plant around in the 4th floor='qstn'>?
='strcls'>*moving plants='strcls'>* is risky
as backdrop for human activity
passively vegetating
making local and global connections='lgc'>: which local or global connections was made (by ="frds">Sina, ="frds scrmbld">Xiri and ="frds scrmbld">Esta moving the plant)='qstn'>? (how the plant was re="trms">positioned in our) making of public common spaces
="prgrph">-practices of concern
(attentive to the plant that was a) shared “thing” between us
what was mediated, navigated and ="trms">articulated with that plant in ="nms">apass 4th floor='qstn'>?
(with this i am trying to ask about the) kinds of ="trms">imaginative ="trms">world-making at work
gathering forces
="prgrph">-

the mice, and the pattern of rice, how did we become the ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader of mice's text='qstn'>? ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader is always always constructed.
the mice disconnected us from global digital ="trms">networks and wrote something on the floor...
(which objects of our ="trms">systems design supporting some and not others) leaving out what are locally perceived as “nonpeople” can mean nonworking ="trms">system. (biologists not seeing their secretaries as doing real ="trms">science, artists in ="nms">apass not seeing the mice doing real work, etc.)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*(="ppl">Leigh ="ppl">="ppl">Star's) “ethnography of infrastructure”='strcls'>* -infrastructure is both ="trms">relational and ="trms">ecological, both transparent and opaque. it is part of the balance of action, tools, and the built environment. ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]infrastructure='lgc'>: a ="trms">dense ="trms">interwoven fabric of shared visions of possible and acceptable dreams (of the inovative, as ="trms">techniques, knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge, know-how, and the institutions).

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="large lg18" stl="font-size:111%"> my previous ="trms">lectures have been ="trms">communicating something I don't quite understand to an audience that doesn't want to know. but still somehow they became not in="trms">different to my madness and we managed to establish lines of ="trms">interest and ="trms">interference (='lgc'>=/= restoring the phalus to its proper place, or getting a ="trms">membership)

i am building another wit ='lgc'>=/= you know when you are on some kind of auto-="trms">respond, those smart fast answers. my wits take ages to come through. in a way i have been slowing down certain kinds of wit. that's also why it is so easy to silence me.

i have been also busy with the timing of understanding. how to keep understanding open and ongoing='qstn'>? there is this standard general sense that becomes very upset when things are not immediately understood (='at'>#double-click democratization of ="trms">communication,) ='mywrk'>my workings have been perhaps invested in keeping my own (not-fully-)understood alive for a while. if things were instantly understandable we wouldn't be here.

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="large lg14" stl="font-size:112%"> ="trms">question at ="frds scrmbld">Hoda

how to make her ="trms">interested in ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphysics='qstn'>? in queer studies and practices

physics is the river of ="trms">phenomena
="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">meta='lgc'>: above, among, beyond

="trms">ontological commitment to='lgc'>:
sense of ="trms">wonder
sense of sadness
sense of madness

what (else) ="trms">literature can be if not elegy='qstn'>?

sonic level of sign-making and significance in her act

soft-spoken adjectives

“sigh”='lgc'>: ="trms">poetry's start-up engine, aaaahh
somewhere between lament and mourning
proper address of the mother
which ‘s="trms">cene of ="trms">modern or classical ="trms">language’ you are opening='qstn'>?
‘sigh’ is important, sigh initiates (many in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cluding german and ="nms">iranian) ="trms">literature
="nms">iranian ="trms">historical comfort zones
where ="trms">literature starts with sigh
when and how did you learn to sigh='qstn'>?

sigh is from the family of the specialized ="trms">languages of ="trms">complaining='qstn'>?

temporal climate of your re="trms">membrance (as mourning) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> related to the ="trms">past='qstn'>?
mourning and ="trms">memory are sojourn for her

incorporating the object of (her) loss
(holding ="trms">onto) the unhappy objects of ="trms">difference

="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger, pain, misery, ...

which (good or bad) feelings saturates her ="trms">poem='qstn'>?
="trms">question of saturation
which feelings modified by which ="trms">poetics sutures which wounds='qstn'>? زخم‌بندی
or to be more psychoanalytically correct='lgc'>: where is the wound='qstn'>?

my own affirmative exposure of the unhappy effects of her ="trms">poetry

what is the image of the ‘better life’ in her ="trms">poetry='qstn'>?

somehow in the ="trms">literary habitus she is moving, the o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigin of descriptive/inscriptive saying is made by an initial violation

="large lg30" stl="font-size:110%"> ="frds scrmbld">Hoda's ="trms">poem, which energies does it unleash in her='qstn'>?

sokhan-e ranj سخن رنج

شعر غنایی Lyric ="trms">poetry, a formal type of ="trms">poetry which is defined by or dedicated to expressing so-called personal emotions or feelings.
the Lyre, a string ="trms">instrument in ="trms">Greek classical antiquity, is tuning the ="trms">technicality of this ‘form’

="trms">historical ="trms">contingencies of “personal feelings”
='qstn'>?what is more singular than your “personal” highs, trips, crashes, “feelings”  ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> a text telling about itself (its ownmost experience of something that is radically singular)
="prgrph">-="trms">rhetoric of singularity
="prgrph">-(my point is that the expression of your) innermost experience (is often signed by someone else)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “distributed biographies,” thinking about ="trms">sociality of perception

her ="trms">poem is her textual body (='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> sexual body)

ecstasy
is subjectivity (permanently for ="frds scrmbld">Hoda) ecstatic='qstn'>?
this is the ="trms">question of ‘where is the subject’='qstn'>? ="trms">according to ="trms">different practices with ecstasy we are outside ourselves. (in ="trms">religion that is precisely where the ‘inside’ is located)
="prgrph">-permanent or structural ecstasy is clearly political
="prgrph">-ecstasy is disruptive

how much should I be invested or ="trms">interested as a friend for your happiness and wellbeing='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•fellow-feeling
="lsts lst1">•="trms">sympathy (is expressed by='lgc'>:) returning feeling with like feeling

="frds">Sina='lgc'>: if a thinking makes you sad, that thinking is probably wrong='qstn'>?

within the ="trms">rhetoric of ="trms">integration a usual terrifying point is in which the duty of the migrant is to attach to a ="trms">different, happier object
the future of reattachment ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="frds scrmbld">Hoda
="prgrph">-in this ="trms">integrative ="trms">narrative, I have to be careful with assumptions that good feelings are open and bad feelings are closed

bad feelings are seen as orientated toward the ="trms">past ='lgc'>=/= ='mywrk'>my work on ="trms">past


she said “here is the English-one” meaning the English ="trms">translation of her ="trms">poem
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> in the last five years i have been rifting between the difficult space between “here the ="trms">Farsi-one” and “here the English-one”

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='at'>#semester, seminar study the “s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing”
keywords='lgc'>: deconstruction, fabrication, ="trms">articulation, plasticity

="large lg22" stl="font-size:123%"> ='lgc'>[week 1,2,3='lgc'>] encounters between psychoanalysis, deconstruction, ="trms">writing, concepts of ="trms">language='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Derrida ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Freud / “="ppl">Freud ='and'>& the S="trms">cene of ="trms">Writing” (43 pages)
="lsts lst1">•Fleming ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Derrida / “Cultural Graphology ="trms">Writing After ="ppl">Derrida” (first chapter='lgc'>: The Psychopathology of ="trms">Writing, 29 pages)
="lsts lst1">•the schemas of text and the trace, Malabou on plasticity ='lgc'>[='lgc'>=/= elasticity='lgc'>] (change of the paradigm of ="trms">writing as developed in ="ppl">Derrida's Grammatology with the new paradigm of plasticity, her ="trms">interest in ="trms">relation between form, ="trms">materiality and meaning) / “Plasticity at the Dusk of ="trms">Writing” (28 pages)

='lgc'>[week 4='lgc'>] 20th century ="trms">sciences and philosophies, ='thdf'>the notion of fabrication of concepts='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•Xin Wei ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Whitehead / “="ppl">Whitehead's ="trms">Poetical Mathematics” (19 pages)

='lgc'>[week 5='lgc'>] on ="trms">articulation='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Deleuze and ="ppl">Guattari / “A Thousand Plateaus” (chapter 3='lgc'>: Double ="trms">Articulation, 32 pages)

='lgc'>[week 6='lgc'>] feminist and women studies, s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="trms">aesthetic tentacularity='lgc'>: Lindsay Kelley ='and'>& Eva ="ppl">="ppl">Hayward / “Carnal Light”

='lgc'>[week 7='lgc'>] digital media='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Flusser on hypertext / “Does ="trms">Writing Have a Future” (chapter='lgc'>: Supertext, 6 pages)
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Bolter / “="trms">Writing Space” (chapter 3 ="trms">Writing as ="trms">Technology, 13 pages)


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='at'>#workshop little ="trms">fables of practice, second day ="trms">storytelling
(proposed initially to ="frds scrmbld">Lili='lgc'>:) ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where its populace don't practice ‘knowing’
with this practice we get into ="trms">questions of (='lgc'>--without directly addressing/announcing them we will provoke a better understanding of what we might think of them='lgc'>:)
="lsts lst1">•knowing ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (the inseparability of) knowing, being, and doing
="lsts lst1">•the ‘="trms">suppos’ of the ="trms">supposed to know
="lsts lst1">•="trms">rhetorics, and intrinsicality (“on the inside”)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">response ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (‘knowing’ =) ="trms">differential accountability ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">differential ="trms">responsiveness
="lsts lst1">•environment
="lsts lst1">•description (discursive significance)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">world, and sense-making
="lsts lst1">•="trms">geometry (and -metry)
="lsts lst1">•(intelligibility and) ="trms">materiality enacted ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">question of discourse
="lsts lst1">•="trms">epistemology
="lsts lst1">•conceptions of space and time
="lsts lst1">•reflection (as a ="trms">pervasive ="trms">trope of knowing) ='lgc'>[mirroring, imitation, reflection, ="trms">tropes of “sameness"='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•="trms">material discursive evolving
="lsts lst1">•="trms">mattering; ="trms">matter and intelligibility, ="trms">episteme and ="trms">techne, macro and micro,
="lsts lst1">•

the workshop is in a way about the ="trms">trope of knowing, ="trms">ontology of knowing

(ways of) knowing entangled with mode of being
(with which creature='qstn'>?) ="trms">matter's dynamism is intrinsic to its biodynamic way of being (='lgc'>--="ppl">="ppl">Barad='lgc'>='lgc'>--> for brittlestar everything is intrinsic)
(creatures that) constantly changing its ="trms">geometry and its topology ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ongoing reworking of bodily boundaries
(our, and an alien critter's “it”’s) discoursive practices='lgc'>: boundary-drawing practices by which it ="trms">differentiates between “itself” and the “environment” ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> making sense of its ="trms">world ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='thdf'>that is why i am ="trms">interested in the (better='qstn'>?) ="trms">articulation of “="trms">differences” (= boundary-making practices, our “="trms">differential productions”) that we are making, as a way of getting into eachother discourses ='lgc'>='lgc'>~='lgc'>~and='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (its) ongoing ="trms">materialization ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*="trms">differential ="trms">materialization='strcls'>* (is discursive; ="ppl">="ppl">Barad)='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•patterns of ="trms">difference
="lsts lst1">•I am against the ‘frictionless ="trms">narrative space’ (in the absence of the dominant ="trms">story) where “everything” (therefore nothing) is possible

="large lg22" stl="font-size:107%"> (the workshop engages in thinking) ="trms">intertwined practices of knowing and being
='lgc'>[this practice of ="trms">storytelling might be relevant for those invested in ="trms">questions of='lgc'>: knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge production, speculative theory, ="trms">situated bodies critique, ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges critique, being ‘of’ the ="trms">world,='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-to think creatures/beings that have evolved in ="trms">intra-action with their environment
="prgrph">-to ="trms">question and examine the ="trms">ontological issues='lgc'>: the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge is presumed never to be too far removed from the human. in the workshop we re="trms">imagine the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge in other location that nonhuman might occupy
='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> a better account for the ='strcls'>*="trms">ontology of knowing='strcls'>* ='lgc'>=/= merely ‘welcome’ dispossessed Others (women, slaves, ="trms">children, ="trms">animals, and other exiles from the land of knowers) into the ="trms">fold of knowers ='lgc'>[no! no!='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•to challange “I think therefore I am”='lgc'>: ='thdf'>the idea that the “="trms">world” is an idea that exists in the human mind ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge making is a not mediated activity ='lgc'>=/= (="ppl">="ppl">Barad's) “direct ="trms">material engagement”
="lsts lst1">•(the workshop begins with a ="trms">position that believes='lgc'>:) knowing is a distributed practice that in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes the larger ="trms">material arrangement ='lgc'>[then isn't the practice of ="trms">writing insufficient='qstn'>?='lgc'>]


after the first round we can ask='lgc'>: what do you need (un)know to ="trms">write/think that ="trms">story='qstn'>? or, what do you need to forget/unlearn in order to be able to think/="trms">imagine that ="trms">world='qstn'>?

another round of the workshop could be='lgc'>: ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where there is no ‘mediation’ or activities that are not ‘mediated’

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because of working on ="nms">ajayeb, i am becoming a “de="trms">finitionist,” or “de="trms">finitionologist” (not in the classical sense of concept theory)
a de="trms">finition i give is a local abstraction, even when it is making boundaries for a dispersed or global concept, it is still a ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge. that means it might be ="trms">categorical but not applicable outside this particulare niche of space and time, whether it is in a bar in a conversation with ="frds scrmbld">Eszter or when accessed in my hypertext

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committed to the imperative of the ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">Rig, things not to do in the pop-up ="trms">book='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•use as ironic='lgc'>: incongruity in expectations of what is ment and what it will mean in advance
="lsts lst1">•use to ="trms">symbolize='lgc'>: as a way of not dealing with sujet ="trms">supposé savoir
="lsts lst1">•use of ana="trms">morphic gaze='lgc'>: a non-diffractive optical ="trms">system
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to be careful (or keep in check) with sequential ="trms">palindromic notion of pop-up ="trms">book, to deal with the parsable seesaw motif in="trms">herit in the pop-up ="trms">book Blickmaschin
="lsts lst1">•use hylo="trms">morphic='lgc'>: assumes form is inscribed ="trms">onto passive ="trms">matter (by an ="trms">agent with a design in mind)
="lsts lst1">•

(relevance should be worked) non-ironic non-="trms">symbolic non-ana="trms">morphic non-="trms">palindromic non-hylo="trms">morphic (='qstn'>?)

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towards ="trms">writing the end of ="nms">apass dossier
="lsts lst1">•practices='lgc'>: workshops, (bow and arrow,) ="nms">ajayeb.net, ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigs ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> pop-up ="trms">book, notes, ="trms">routines, ="trms">excess,
="lsts lst1">•="trms">trajectory='lgc'>: bibliography, ="trms">wonder, ="trms">ongoingness, ="trms">ontology,
="lsts lst1">•productions='lgc'>: study as artwork, ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading as artwork, bottom-top approach to ="trms">writing,
="lsts lst1">•findings='lgc'>: every research practice='lgc'>: must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “="nms">body image”, must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “the image of creativity” especially if you are ="nms">iranian, must employ ="trms">ontological attention to ="trms">differential productions, must rework de="trms">compose redefine its root-="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors, must give extensive ="trms">="trms">equipment ="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list, must trace its ="trms">social connections in a wider ="trms">ecology of practices, must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude a critique of ="trms">technology,
="lsts lst1">•moments of com="trms">position='lgc'>: a s="trms">cene animated by some quality, or... taking place as accidents (or not)

key ="trms">literature, magic wands='lgc'>:
1st ="trms">stage='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•Richard ="ppl">Sennett='lgc'>: Flesh and Stonne ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="nms">body image
="lsts lst1">•Manuel ="ppl">Delanda='lgc'>: A 1000 Years of Nonlinear ="trms">History ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">material ="trms">histories
="lsts lst1">•Eduardo ="ppl">Kohn='lgc'>: How Forests Thinks ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">semiotics
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Timothy ="ppl">="ppl">Morton='lgc'>: ="trms">Sublime Objects ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">ontology
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Avital Ronnel='lgc'>: (="trms">lectures and articles) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">poetics
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Donna ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway='lgc'>: (="trms">lectures and articles) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">rhetorics
2nd ="trms">stage='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Martha ="ppl">="ppl">Kenney='lgc'>: ="trms">Fables of Attention ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*rationality='lgc'>: mixture of the highly rational and the highly fantastic
="lsts lst1">•Karen ="ppl">="ppl">Barad='lgc'>: Posthumanist Performativity, Invertebrate Visions ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">apparatus
="lsts lst1">•Eva ="ppl">="ppl">Hayward='lgc'>: visualizing ="trms">apparatuses ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> her ="trms">interest in optics, in the optics in which marine invertebrates and people come together through visualizing ="trms">apparatuses
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Vinciane ="ppl">="ppl">Despret='lgc'>: The Becomings of Subjectivity in ="trms">Animal ="trms">Worlds ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">anthropo-="trms">zoo-genetics
="lsts lst1">•Kathleen ="ppl">="ppl">Stewart='lgc'>: nonre="trms">presentational theory ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> other ways of description
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King='lgc'>: ="trms">technologies of ="trms">writing ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a better thinking of locals and globals
="lsts lst1">•

(curiosity ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=>) having to figure out how to do something that i don't al="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready know how to do='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="trms">ongoingness of collective practices of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge and concern
="lsts lst1">•talking about (what is going on with) ="nms">ajayeb
="lsts lst1">•paying attention to ="trms">differential ="trms">ontologies
="lsts lst1">•the stuff that happens through face-to-face colleagueship
="lsts lst1">•to be in productive alliance
="lsts lst1">•


unalianated critical work='lgc'> = art



="frds">Seifee wants to say something
something wants to say ="frds">Seifee='qstn'>?


i like us to be ="trms">skilled at
="lsts lst1">•objective perception
="lsts lst1">•5 minute perception
="lsts lst1">•="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigorously passionate perception
="lsts lst1">•="trms">rhetorical perception
="lsts lst1">•sacred perception
="lsts lst1">•devilish perception
="lsts lst1">•queer non-perception
="lsts lst1">•having a taste for ="nms">iranian stuff perception
="lsts lst1">•
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> poly="trms">skilled web of friends



='at'>#="nms">Bambi's mother studies='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•other ="trms">stories possibility, ="trms">past and ="trms">history, performative approach to film
="lsts lst1">•politics of ="trms">memory, and ="trms">affect
="lsts lst1">•patterns of re="trms">membrance ='lgc'>=/= event recall
="lsts lst1">•

three ="trms">childhood ="trms">memories, ="trms">stories, from elementary school='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•the ="trms">mime of “you think (too much)”
="lsts lst1">•the weird pro hit on the coming ball
="lsts lst1">•peeping into the toilet
="lsts lst1">•

my ="trms">childhood recognizing='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•filaments (hypha, hyphae, تار) of spider webs
="lsts lst1">•patterns of ants
="lsts lst1">•motion color b="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lurings ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> that ="trms">present is “physical if the eye is quick enough” (="frds scrmbld">Stevens)
="lsts lst1">•

the ways i was engaged as a ="trms">child in scope-="trms">apparatus, micro-macro scales


what other ="trms">stories, re="trms">membrances of the ="trms">past are possible='qstn'>?
="prgrph">-="trms">different ="trms">apparatuses of attention, reconstruction, and ="trms">storytelling, that are ="trms">="trms">equipped to hold diffractive patterns of ‘that which comes to mind’


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can we care for “="nms">iranians” without “for ="nms">iran”='qstn'>?
(i can't care less about ="nms">Iran)

="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

perhaps artistic research is all about playing cat's cradle (='lgc'>=/= autism) ='lgc'>: (you have all ="trms">sorts of limbs, even ="nms">phantom limbs) you must learn sustaining the rhythm of accepting and giving, (collaborative) patterning (that requires passion and action) ='lgc'>[this is one ="trms">skill that ="trms">matters a lot, what i have been trying to teach myself above anything else in the last years='lgc'>] ='lgc'>[i am playing that game with ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway, joining her (and others) in ="trms">thick, collaborative patterning; generous knottings; ="trms">thickening the knots, relaying a mutated and re="trms">situated pattern for the next play='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•getting the knot, proposing another
="lsts lst1">•you must learn how to hold still
="lsts lst2">◦(more and more) in ="trms">different ="trms">material and conceptual grains of detail and resolution
="lsts lst1">•the most important thing in research practices is this patterning, ="trms">networks reenacted (="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King)
(="frds scrmbld">Lili's kiss project was about that, blocked ="trms">intersubjectivity, a ="trms">matter of “learning to be ="trms">affected”; can i say that ="frds scrmbld">Lili's issue is with the lack of ='lgc'>[psychological, or psychic='lgc'>] dialogue='qstn'>? a ="trms">language that no longer carries ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor displaces the ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphorical drive='lgc'>: acting out the soul's ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor in direct ='lgc'>[non="trms">verbal='lgc'>] action. the breath in ="frds scrmbld">Lili's work, is the same in her suffocated kiss and scream performance, once hold in and one unleashed, lack of a “breather,” of a “converser,” of a partner in cat's cradle.)='lgc'>--='lgc'>[i like to propose a repatterning='lgc'>: in research environments we play a lot “catch me if you can”='lgc'>: to catching you in action, to capture your ‘knowing’ in action, to capture eros or logos in act, ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='at'>#beauty is ="trms">interested in action='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•it is about “understanding living with contra="trms">diction” ='lgc'>: making choices without necessarily turning the other choices into something an enemy does ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> important for collective research life; “='lgc'>[we='lgc'>] need each other's extremes”; ='strcls'>*our activisms are not the same='strcls'>*='lgc'>: to open up to our extremes, to open up to what you are not sure of ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to find ways to be in productive alliance (='lgc'>=/= ='thdf'>the notion that everybody has to do everything ='lgc'>[tell ="frds scrmbld">Xiri='lgc'>])
="lsts lst1">•(educating oneself) actually know how to explain what somebody else said and not just what you said='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> figuring out how to disagree with each other as well as agree, that no statement is going to be taken as evidence of being the enemy (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> we face this in ="nms">apass)
="lsts lst1">•learning how to recognize ="trms">authority (as a mentor and participant) (the problem of the inability to deal with ="trms">authority, common in early feminist movement, traces in ="frds scrmbld">Xiri) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> being alert to how hierarchy shut people up that one don't acknowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge the hierarchies that emerge out of that ='strcls'>*='lgc'>{alarm ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> hierarchy='lgc'>}='strcls'>*
="lsts lst1">•in ="nms">apass i am trying to re="trms">member what my peers are doing, and when i see things i think of them, and they are in my ="trms">citation ="trms">network (they are all over ="nms">ajayeb.net) and i am aware of what they have told me. words they are inventing are in my ="trms">vocabulary too (='thdf'>that is why i am so energetic calling in ="frds scrmbld">Xiri's ="trms">category change ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> for example “generous suspicion”)
="lsts lst1">•collective research environment works by ="trms">networks='strcls'>* (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a problem with ="nms">apass)


='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]="trms">epistemology='lgc'> = ="trms">stories knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges tell


sometimes practices ="trms">demand='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•ex="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusive expertise (='lgc'>~ focus)
="lsts lst1">•extensive scholarship ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> linking and speculating
="lsts lst1">•attaching unexpected ="trms">agencies and territories to each other


(better) understanding the mechanisms and ="trms">affects of in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion and ex="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion in ="trms">communities of practice
for example in ="nms">apass (we are dealing with)='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•suffer ='lgc'><='lgc'>== ="trms">mutual incomprehensions
="lsts lst1">•pain ='lgc'><='lgc'>== heterogeneous knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge ="trms">worlds
="lsts lst1">•="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger ='lgc'><='lgc'>== unevenly distributed power
="lsts lst1">•fatigue ='lgc'><='lgc'>== exposure to intensity
="lsts lst1">•tension ='lgc'><='lgc'>== ="trms">different ="trms">styles of knowing

unacknowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edged suffering ='lgc'>--(in ="trms">past and ="trms">present)='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda='lgc'>='lgc'>--> as well as pleasures


(what do you make out of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading your gender ="trms">material='qstn'>?)


="trms">Greek brainwomb


feminism  ='lgc'>='lgc'>~/= feminist theory='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{highly diverse, located in many domains of practices in and out of the university, and understood to be this highly diverse activity='lgc'>}


the talks i have been giving are done by someone with a kind of mind and soul that just makes connections fast. i work orally. the ="trms">lectures are heavily prepared (and some important ways unprepared in the manner of its performance='lgc'>: all those connections happening during the talk not knowing them beforehand, they happen by the encounter='strcls'>*) and full of cue (سخن رهنما، ايماء، اشارت) and quirk (تزئينات، تناقض گويى، تغيير ناگهانى فکر). my notes and scripting are invisible to my audience, but they are there at work. and it gets people ex="trms">cited. and that's the point. i work with confusion and ex="trms">citement. i have not been good at laying out groundwork of ="trms">skills, going to next level and so on. i am working with that feeling of “i am not sure what i am getting, by i think i am getting it”. i also always come back, loop again through the same ="trms">material, go back to the ="trms">question we were raising before and ='strcls'>***“watch what is happening to the ="trms">language”='strcls'>***(="ppl">="ppl">Haraway). these are the ways my connections work. artistic and scholarly work works by ='strcls'>**modes of attention='strcls'>** ='lgc'>[='lgc'>--re="trms">member='lgc'>='lgc'>--> your mode of attention (= your mode of abstraction) is doing the foregrounding and the ="trms">world is not actually built that way. so you make ‘your mode of attention='lgc'> = ="trms">world’ to inhabit something for a certain time only to do a certain kind of work)='lgc'>] ='lgc'>--(because)='lgc'>='lgc'>--> you are always jumping into the middle of something that is ongoing before you, into the middle of many conversations. you are learning how to get it in several ways at once. the hypertext that i have been building also characterizes these kinds of layering upon layering of textual work. teaching myself how to ="trms">write and how to play with ideas.
working with (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's) kind of good-enough approach to a body of scholarship ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> inhabiting many things that i have only got half-di="trms">gested (='lgc'>=/= through di="trms">gestion, particular bodies of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading that people need to have mastered in order to argue)

(after five years now i am) feeling myself (a little bit more) competent and confident in (some) ="trms">scientific ="trms">literacy and in (some of) the ="trms">skills of the arts and ="trms">literature ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='qstn'>?

after ="nms">apass='lgc'>: ="nms">apass was a safe-enough space for my inventive processes, to make ="trms">interesting mistakes, but do i need a real scholarly undertaking with ="nms">ajayeb='qstn'>?
i had a lousy education, don't know still how to ="trms">write well and coherently and sustain a project. i don't have the ="trms">skills to pull off ='mywrk'>my research as a phd, as a scholar. i need someone to work with me line-by-line. i need to go people who have ="trms">serious educations in my subject, and ask them ="trms">questions, and ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read.
and i am missing that kind of connectivity that your ="trms">writing being ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read performs. do i need an atmosphere in which my kind of ="trms">writerly activities are honored and foregrounded, and expected='qstn'>?

can my ="nms">ajayeb beome a real scholarly project with ="trms">seriously labor-intensive student work='qstn'>?


hostility ='lgc'>=/= indi="trms">gestibility ='lgc'>{they cannot recognize it, it is something else='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> it is not personal, but a ="trms">historical state of a discourse, and the ="trms">nature of the kinds of possibilities that being opened up or closed


(in ="nms">apass) all of us fail each other in ="trms">different ways all the time='strcls'>*

we can barely ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read each other's works/="trms">books. but we do, and we struggle with each other's works/="trms">books


(in ="nms">apass i am catching my self giving “advice” to others='lgc'>='lgc'>---risk of the advice='lgc'>:) violation of their ="trms">integrity

='strcls'>*taxonomy='lgc'>: (constantly ="trms">morphing) tools, they work and get worked, ='strcls'>*they are part of ="trms">situated conversations='strcls'>* (='lgc'>~ “theory conversations” ="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King < ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(='lgc'>=/= some kind of enemy that you never do)


='strcls'>***almost everybody is organically part of more than one conversation at a time='strcls'>*** (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(this is so important to recognize specially in collaborative research environments such as ="nms">apass)


(in political movement='lgc'>:) working to a kind of clarity of ideological ="trms">position ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> to do certain kinds of things (that are harder to do if you don't have them ='lgc'>[those ideological ="trms">positions='lgc'>] in the ="trms">world) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> they are used as ='strcls'>*tools='strcls'>* to produce what got called ='strcls'>*political correctness='strcls'>* ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> always producing those who count and those who don't count='strcls'>*
='lgc'>=/=='qstn'>? feminist movement='lgc'> = ='strcls'>***a kind of vulnerability to not being who you thought you were='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>: openness to risk, less of a defensiveness, less of an attack mentality, not shaping each other up into vanguards پيشقراول ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (towards thinking) ="trms">differential/op="trms">positional consciousness (='lgc'>=/= father, single kind of creators)


“you can know if you are wrong in rather ="trms">interesting, ="trms">situated ways”
='at'>@="frds scrmbld"nttrm="Leonardo">Leo
='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Maarten


='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]"was”='lgc'>: (so important for ="nms">iranians ='lgc'>[='at'>#="trms">past='lgc'>]) a geographical place, a place='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•of pain
="lsts lst1">•of fantasy
="lsts lst1">•of hope
="lsts lst1">•of possibility
="lsts lst1">•of defeat
="lsts lst1">•of breaking and building
(='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a borderland)


="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors that are also real places
figurings that are also (always unequally) lived in the flesh


to think “contact zone” instead of “binary shape”
ways of living and ="trms">technologies, ways of doing the ="trms">world forcibly brought together in ="trms">relations of ="trms">serious inequality, but which do not take the simple shape of dominator and dominated


='strcls'>*“abstractions are precious and they take a huge amount of work to know how to build them well”='strcls'>*

(='qstn'>?how do i know when in working with ="nms">ajayeb) sometimes you are required (at the same time!)='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•to be dead ="trms">literal
="lsts lst1">•to be precise
="lsts lst1">•to be analytically good
="lsts lst1">•to be unforgivingly ="trms">technically ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">right
="lsts lst1">•to be flaming ="trms">imaginative
="lsts lst1">•


='strcls'>*breakdown='strcls'>*='lgc'>: where the normalizing fails ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> something else emerges


='strcls'>*every collective needs people who feel='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•(a grace given to you by the structure of your cells, you don't know where it comes from='lgc'>:) “root sense that the ="trms">world is not dead” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a sense that things are moving and alive and future-full
="lsts lst1">•its people who feel despair (...emphasize the futurelessness of it all)

='strcls'>*!!!='lgc'>='lgc'>--> we (also) need sensibilities that are angrey at each other

(aligned with ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway) my ="trms">position has been that='lgc'>: we don't choose our sensibilities, we wake up and figure out what they are

="large lg50" stl="font-size:121%">
(="ppl">="ppl">Haraway take on the ways we) may enginner as a ="trms">species now (tech, syntax, etc.)


to refuse the ="trms">story of the apocalypse ='lgc'>+ (still) recognizing the depth of the trouble
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Freud's thanatos غريزه مرگ, a death instinct, (it is a deep, instinctual ="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure='lgc'>:) ='strcls'>*a ="trms">perverse pleasure in believing in inevitable fai="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure='strcls'>*


='strcls'>*="trms">transference is descriptively very apt for what goes on in artistic moves ='lgc'>[='lgc'><='lgc'>-- to be careful of='lgc'>]


="large lg38" stl="font-size:101%"> ='strcls'>**to risk a feeling of (despair, of...)

the ways some of us risk things intellectually and emotionally ="trms">different than each other


prima donna='lgc'>: doing whatever one does without any particular effort to nuance anything


='strcls'>*multiple impossibilities
learning from ="trms">religion, the ways of which the name of God has become an impossible ="trms">category. both catholics and muslim shia (='at'>#islam) are wellprepared for feeling this way, some kind of recognition of impossible thing. let's take that “being good at recognizing and affirming impossible things” and bring it to the name of women. that means as soon as you name what you mean by ‘women,’ you have told some kind of really impossible lie.
(how my muslim trained sensibilities are working and ="trms">mattering in my ="nms">ajayeb research='qstn'>? ways to ="trms">respond to ='strcls'>*the deadliness and the irreplaceable liveliness of ="trms">religion='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[کشندگی و سرزندگی یکتای مذهب='lgc'>], a ="trms">semiotics with implosion of sign and flesh)='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (i am so happy that) i cannot not know what it is like to be in a believing ="trms">community (a faith-based ="trms">community)='strcls'>***


...out of your own particular little ="trms">historical traditions


='strcls'>*because ='mywrk'>my research is about ="nms">ajayeb it can never only be about ="nms">ajayeb='strcls'>*


you can't do feminist theory without paying attention to the details of women lives
your mode of attention to women in the ="trms">world ='lgc'>==(shapes)='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> your mode of attention to='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•the way ="trms">databases get set up
="lsts lst1">•the ways ="trms">interdisciplinarities get ="trms">crafted
="lsts lst1">•how you think about tools and genomics


my main point of my project has been about getting better at how to in="trms">herit your ="trms">histories without trashing them='strcls'>*** (even figuring out how to in="trms">herit a ="trms">history that you don't want to in="trms">herit)
(Islam, shyness, kindness, ="nms">ajayeb, ="nms">Iran, stuttering, being all too ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready to find complexities, )
="lsts lst1">•to become relaxed about predi="trms">gested version of ‘this is what ="nms">ajayeb is about’ (or Tasavof, etc.) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ‘what is going on there’ (in ="nms">ajayeb) is so built-in to ideologies of many kinds (of progress, deep ="trms">ecology, of ="trms">history, and so on)
="lsts lst1">•to build a little taxonomy (in ="nms">apass)
="lsts lst1">•working to give up the series of self-certainties around secularism ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> giving ways to talk to the ="trms">religious ones ='lgc'>: getting to grasp what the ="trms">world looks like in faith-based ="trms">communities (='lgc'>=/= check-="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list of dogma)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">category thinking='lgc'>: get into ="trms">differential liveliness (with all ="trms">sorts of inequalities='lgc'>:) ='strcls'>*who gets parsed how='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[='at'>#archive, ='at'>#="trms">articulation, ='at'>#="trms">storytelling='lgc'>] (and thinking about what it means to take up these ="trms">relationships in cultures saturated with ="trms">science and ="trms">technology)


="frds scrmbld">Xiri was doing her research with ="trms">categories of victim and opressor, and now they suddenly disappeared from her work. that ="trms">category change or ="trms">vocabulary change was suspiciously effortless


='strcls'>*re="trms">membering is an extremely creative practice (-note to ="frds scrmbld">Hoda-)
="trms">memories are like ecotone کناربوم (="trms">transition area between two adjacent eco="trms">systems)


='at'>#(very important concept partly shaped by practices of ="ppl">Darwin into our lives='lgc'>:) “collect” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> lies (necessary='qstn'>?)
the frenzy of the 1700 of surveying ="trms">nature and collecting speciment ='lgc'>=='lgc'>=> bioinfomatic
‘collect’ promises nontransformation
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors of archive, information-intense ways of thinking about life on earth

='strcls'>*“de="trms">monstration” coined by ="trms">science

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(with Scout ="ppl">="ppl">Calvert) the ways the digital ="trms">apparatuses are working, and the kinds of tensions and creativities between the cyber infrastructures and the other kinds informational management discourses displace other ="trms">book discourses ='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">categories explode in library practice
='lgc'>[Cal[...]