[...]ition, emotiveness, ="trms">interpersonal functioning, impulse control ='lgc'>==> personal, ="trms">social, occupational disruption

egosyntonic personality disorders are most difficult to treat (such as='lgc'>: ="trms">narcissistic personality disorder, anorexia, gambling problem)

='strcls'>*egosyntonic='lgc'>: in harmony with the needs and goals of the ego ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> defences ='lgc'>==> maladaptive coping ="trms">skills ='lgc'>~=> ="trms">anxiety, distress, depression='lgc'>]
='strcls'>*egodystonic='lgc'>: in conflict with the needs and goals of the ego, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image

obsessive-compulsive disorder ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> egodystonic
obsessive-compulsive personality disorder ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> egosyntonic

="large lg2" stl="font-size:110%"> ="ppl">Freud='lgc'>: psychic conflict arising when the o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">riginal lagging instincts come into conflict with the ego (or egosyntonic instincts) ='lgc'>[such as='lgc'>: erection problem ='lgc'>==> egodystonic='lgc'>]

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='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]personality disorder='lgc'>: (a type of psychological disorder generally defined by) the lack of insight into the disorder

borderline personality disorder ='lgc'>=/= shades of gray
(a view that sees) significances as unfair and uncaring (devaluation) or flawless (idealization)
(a standardized criteria of diagnosis since 1980) a certain class of ="trms">neurotics who, when in crisis, appeared to straddle the borderline into psychosis
fluctuation in identity ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> chaotic identity (='lgc'>=/= chaotic ="trms">imagination)
='strcls'>*the most treatment-resistant personality type='strcls'>*
="prgrph">-75 percent in female patients
="prgrph">-related to neglect in ="trms">childhood

="large lg14" stl="font-size:129%"> borderline personality disorder often comes with very smart people
borderline personality ='lgc'>+ high intelligence ='lgc'>==>
="lsts lst1">•parakandegi-e zehn پراکندگی ذهن sporadic and dispersed mind ='lgc'>--='not'>✕='lgc'>='lgc'>--> hadaf jahat kushesh fa'aliat هدف جهت کوشش فعالیت having a target, direction, effort, activity
="lsts lst1">•going from one thing to another without consistency in life باری به هر جهت

borderline personality disorder ='lgc'>+ ="trms">narcissistic personality disorder ='lgc'>[seeing people from top to down='lgc'>] ='lgc'>==> winning arguments by mixing ="trms">imagination and reality, saying everything they like to others
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (donya-e zehni) a mental ="trms">world in which ="trms">imagination and reality are not distinguish (='lgc'>~-> lying)

(a nontherapeutic approach) to turn the borderline into ="trms">storyteller='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•dis="trms">sociation ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> impossible as="trms">sociation
="lsts lst1">•disconnection as a state of consciousness ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> impossible connection
="lsts lst1">•lying as a feature ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">fabulation
="lsts lst1">•manipulative behavior ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">articulative
="lsts lst1">•="trms">demand ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> performance
="lsts lst1">•chaotic identity ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> chaotic ="trms">imagination
="lsts lst1">•ذهن پراکنده (sporadic mind) ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ذهن انحرافی (deviant mind)
="lsts lst1">•sensitivity (of thin or no psychological skin) ='lgc'>--into='lgc'>='lgc'>--> sensibility
="lsts lst1">•

a therapeutic approach to borderline personality='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•dialectical behavior therapy (='lgc'><='lgc'>--='qstn'>?='lgc'>-- mindfulness)
="lsts lst1">•


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='prcnt'>%notes on ='at'>#workshop of ="trms">question (HWD)
="prgrph">-how come in my drawing class participancts couldn't even hold the pen
="prgrph">-participants lenzes couldn't focus, the words were in b="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lur and in disarray
="prgrph">-i had to stop free as="trms">sociations and ="trms">staggerings, and return to the task at hand
="prgrph">-it was like teaching a new ="trms">language
="prgrph">-i was trying to share my methorodlogy, ="trms">specificly. not a jam session
="prgrph">-is it neccesory or ="trms">interesting to learn eachother ="trms">methodlogies in order to get involved and engagned in eachother practices='qstn'>? maybe not ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> go back to re="trms">presentational tools ='lgc'>--are re="trms">presentational tools the best we have='qstn'>? or maybe, structurally we can't give workshop in ="nms">apass HWDs or endweeks, because participants are not there by free will that is usually mobilising them to look for and join a workshop that they are ="trms">interested in.

="large lg10" stl="font-size:131%"> ='prcnt'>%(am I='qstn'>?) ‘coming back with advices’ in ='mywrk'>my work ='lgc'>[='lgc'>[='at'>#="frds scrmbld">Esta='lgc'>]='lgc'>]

is it ="trms">interesting for me or ='mywrk'>my research to think about how we moved that plant around in the 4th floor='qstn'>?
='strcls'>*moving plants='strcls'>* is risky
as backdrop for human activity
passively vegetating
making local and global connections='lgc'>: which local or global connections was made (by ="frds">Sina, ="frds scrmbld">Xiri and ="frds scrmbld">Esta moving the plant)='qstn'>? (how the plant was re="trms">positioned in our) making of public common spaces
="prgrph">-practices of concern
(attentive to the plant that was a) shared “thing” between us
what was mediated, navigated and ="trms">articulated with that plant in ="nms">apass 4th floor='qstn'>?
(with this i am trying to ask about the) kinds of ="trms">imaginative ="trms">world-making at work
gathering forces
="prgrph">-

the mice, and the pattern of rice, how did we become the ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader of mice's text='qstn'>? ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader is always always constructed.
the mice disconnected us from global digital ="trms">networks and wrote something on the floor...
(which objects of our ="trms">systems design supporting some and not others) leaving out what are locally perceived as “nonpeople” can mean nonworking ="trms">system. (biologists not seeing their secretaries as doing real ="trms">science, artists in ="nms">apass not seeing the mice doing real work, etc.)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*(="ppl">Leigh ="ppl">="ppl">Star's) “ethnography of infrastructure”='strcls'>* -infrastructure is both ="trms">relational and ="trms">ecological, both transparent and opaque. it is part of the balance of action, tools, and the built environment. ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]infrastructure='lgc'>: a ="trms">dense ="trms">interwoven fabric of shared visions of possible and acceptable dreams (of the inovative, as ="trms">techniques, knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge, know-how, and the institutions).

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my previous ="trms">lectures have been ="trms">communicating something I don't quite understand to an audience that doesn't want to know. but still somehow they became not in="trms">different to my madness and we managed to establish lines of ="trms">interest and ="trms">interference (='lgc'>=/= restoring the phalus to its proper place, or getting a ="trms">membership)

i am building another wit ='lgc'>=/= you know when you are on some kind of auto-="trms">respond, those smart fast answers. my wits take ages to come through. in a way i have been slowing down certain kinds of wit. that's also why it is so easy to silence me.

i have been also busy with the timing of understanding. how to keep understanding open and ongoing='qstn'>? there is this standard general sense that becomes very upset when things are not immediately understood (='at'>#double-click democratization of ="trms">communication,) ='mywrk'>my workings have been perhaps invested in keeping my own (not-fully-)understood alive for a while. if things were instantly understandable we wouldn't be here.

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="trms">question at ="frds scrmbld">Hoda

how to make her ="trms">interested in ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphysics='qstn'>? in queer studies and practices

physics is the river of ="trms">phenomena
="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">meta='lgc'>: above, among, beyond

="trms">ontological commitment to='lgc'>:
sense of ="trms">wonder
sense of sadness
sense of madness

what (else) ="trms">literature can be if not elegy='qstn'>?

sonic level of sign-making and significance in her act

soft-spoken adjectives

“sigh”='lgc'>: ="trms">poetry's start-up engine, aaaahh
somewhere between lament and mourning
proper address of the mother
which ‘s="trms">cene of ="trms">modern or classical ="trms">language’ you are opening='qstn'>?
‘sigh’ is important, sigh initiates (many in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cluding german and ="nms">iranian) ="trms">literature
="nms">iranian ="trms">historical comfort zones
where ="trms">literature starts with sigh
when and how did you learn to sigh='qstn'>?

sigh is from the family of the specialized ="trms">languages of ="trms">complaining='qstn'>?

temporal climate of your re="trms">membrance (as mourning) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> related to the ="trms">past='qstn'>?
mourning and ="trms">memory are sojourn for her

incorporating the object of (her) loss
(holding ="trms">onto) the unhappy objects of ="trms">difference

="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger, pain, misery, ...

which (good or bad) feelings saturates her ="trms">poem='qstn'>?
="trms">question of saturation
which feelings modified by which ="trms">poetics sutures which wounds='qstn'>? زخم‌بندی
or to be more psychoanalytically correct='lgc'>: where is the wound='qstn'>?

my own affirmative exposure of the unhappy effects of her ="trms">poetry

="large lg10" stl="font-size:106%"> what is the image of the ‘better life’ in her ="trms">poetry='qstn'>?

somehow in the ="trms">literary habitus she is moving, the o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigin of descriptive/inscriptive saying is made by an initial violation

="frds scrmbld">Hoda's ="trms">poem, which energies does it unleash in her='qstn'>?

sokhan-e ranj سخن رنج

شعر غنایی Lyric ="trms">poetry, a formal type of ="trms">poetry which is defined by or dedicated to expressing so-called personal emotions or feelings.
the Lyre, a string ="trms">instrument in ="trms">Greek classical antiquity, is tuning the ="trms">technicality of this ‘form’

="large lg1" stl="font-size:134%"> ="trms">historical ="trms">contingencies of “personal feelings”
='qstn'>?what is more singular than your “personal” highs, trips, crashes, “feelings”  ='lgc'>==> a text telling about itself (its ownmost experience of something that is radically singular)
="prgrph">-="trms">rhetoric of singularity
="prgrph">-(my point is that the expression of your) innermost experience (is often signed by someone else)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “distributed biographies,” thinking about ="trms">sociality of perception

her ="trms">poem is her textual body (='lgc'><='lgc'>='lgc'>--> sexual body)

="large lg6" stl="font-size:102%"> ecstasy
is subjectivity (permanently for ="frds scrmbld">Hoda) ecstatic='qstn'>?
this is the ="trms">question of ‘where is the subject’='qstn'>? ="trms">according to ="trms">different practices with ecstasy we are outside ourselves. (in ="trms">religion that is precisely where the ‘inside’ is located)
="prgrph">-permanent or structural ecstasy is clearly political
="prgrph">-ecstasy is disruptive

how much should I be invested or ="trms">interested as a friend for your happiness and wellbeing='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•fellow-feeling
="lsts lst1">•="trms">sympathy (is expressed by='lgc'>:) returning feeling with like feeling

="frds">Sina='lgc'>: if a thinking makes you sad, that thinking is probably wrong='qstn'>?

within the ="trms">rhetoric of ="trms">integration a usual terrifying point is in which the duty of the migrant is to attach to a ="trms">different, happier object
the future of reattachment ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="frds scrmbld">Hoda
="prgrph">-in this ="trms">integrative ="trms">narrative, I have to be careful with assumptions that good feelings are open and bad feelings are closed

bad feelings are seen as orientated toward the ="trms">past ='lgc'>=/= ='mywrk'>my work on ="trms">past


="large lg6" stl="font-size:116%"> she said “here is the English-one” meaning the English ="trms">translation of her ="trms">poem
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> in the last five years i have been rifting between the difficult space between “here the ="trms">Farsi-one” and “here the English-one”

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='at'>#semester, seminar study the “s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing”
keywords='lgc'>: deconstruction, fabrication, ="trms">articulation, plasticity

='lgc'>[week 1,2,3='lgc'>] encounters between psychoanalysis, deconstruction, ="trms">writing, concepts of ="trms">language='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Derrida ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Freud / “="ppl">Freud ='and'>& the S="trms">cene of ="trms">Writing” (43 pages)
="lsts lst1">•Fleming ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Derrida / “Cultural Graphology ="trms">Writing After ="ppl">Derrida” (first chapter='lgc'>: The Psychopathology of ="trms">Writing, 29 pages)
="lsts lst1">•the schemas of text and the trace, Malabou on plasticity ='lgc'>[='lgc'>=/= elasticity='lgc'>] (change of the paradigm of ="trms">writing as developed in ="ppl">Derrida's Grammatology with the new paradigm of plasticity, her ="trms">interest in ="trms">relation between form, ="trms">materiality and meaning) / “Plasticity at the Dusk of ="trms">Writing” (28 pages)

='lgc'>[week 4='lgc'>] 20th century ="trms">sciences and philosophies, ='thdf'>the notion of fabrication of concepts='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•Xin Wei ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Whitehead / “="ppl">Whitehead's ="trms">Poetical Mathematics” (19 pages)

='lgc'>[week 5='lgc'>] on ="trms">articulation='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Deleuze and ="ppl">Guattari / “A Thousand Plateaus” (chapter 3='lgc'>: Double ="trms">Articulation, 32 pages)

='lgc'>[week 6='lgc'>] feminist and women studies, s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="trms">aesthetic tentacularity='lgc'>: Lindsay Kelley ='and'>& Eva ="ppl">="ppl">Hayward / “Carnal Light”

='lgc'>[week 7='lgc'>] digital media='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Flusser on hypertext / “Does ="trms">Writing Have a Future” (chapter='lgc'>: Supertext, 6 pages)
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Bolter / “="trms">Writing Space” (chapter 3 ="trms">Writing as ="trms">Technology, 13 pages)


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='at'>#workshop little ="trms">fables of practice, second day ="trms">storytelling
(proposed initially to ="frds scrmbld">Lili='lgc'>:) ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where its populace don't practice ‘knowing’
with this practice we get into ="trms">questions of (='lgc'>--without directly addressing/announcing them we will provoke a better understanding of what we might think of them='lgc'>:)
="lsts lst1">•knowing ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (the inseparability of) knowing, being, and doing
="lsts lst1">•the ‘="trms">suppos’ of the ="trms">supposed to know
="lsts lst1">•="trms">rhetorics, and intrinsicality (“on the inside”)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">response ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (‘knowing’ =) ="trms">differential accountability ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">differential ="trms">responsiveness
="lsts lst1">•environment
="lsts lst1">•description (discursive significance)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">world, and sense-making
="lsts lst1">•="trms">geometry (and -metry)
="lsts lst1">•(intelligibility and) ="trms">materiality enacted ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">question of discourse
="lsts lst1">•="trms">epistemology
="lsts lst1">•conceptions of space and time
="lsts lst1">•reflection (as a ="trms">pervasive ="trms">trope of knowing) ='lgc'>[mirroring, imitation, reflection, ="trms">tropes of “sameness"='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•="trms">material discursive evolving
="lsts lst1">•="trms">mattering; ="trms">matter and intelligibility, ="trms">episteme and ="trms">techne, macro and micro,
="lsts lst1">•

the workshop is in a way about the ="trms">trope of knowing, ="trms">ontology of knowing

(ways of) knowing entangled with mode of being
(with which creature='qstn'>?) ="trms">matter's dynamism is intrinsic to its biodynamic way of being (='lgc'>--="ppl">="ppl">Barad='lgc'>='lgc'>--> for brittlestar everything is intrinsic)
(creatures that) constantly changing its ="trms">geometry and its topology ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ongoing reworking of bodily boundaries
(our, and an alien critter's “it”’s) discoursive practices='lgc'>: boundary-drawing practices by which it ="trms">differentiates between “itself” and the “environment” ='lgc'>==> making sense of its ="trms">world ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='thdf'>that is why i am ="trms">interested in the (better='qstn'>?) ="trms">articulation of “="trms">differences” (= boundary-making practices, our “="trms">differential productions”) that we are making, as a way of getting into eachother discourses ='lgc'>~~and='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (its) ongoing ="trms">materialization ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*="trms">differential ="trms">materialization='strcls'>* (is discursive; ="ppl">="ppl">Barad)='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•patterns of ="trms">difference
="lsts lst1">•I am against the ‘frictionless ="trms">narrative space’ (in the absence of the dominant ="trms">story) where “everything” (therefore nothing) is possible

(the workshop engages in thinking) ="trms">intertwined practices of knowing and being
='lgc'>[this practice of ="trms">storytelling might be relevant for those invested in ="trms">questions of='lgc'>: knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge production, speculative theory, ="trms">situated bodies critique, ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges critique, being ‘of’ the ="trms">world,='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-to think creatures/beings that have evolved in ="trms">intra-action with their environment
="prgrph">-to ="trms">question and examine the ="trms">ontological issues='lgc'>: the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge is presumed never to be too far removed from the human. in the workshop we re="trms">imagine the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge in other location that nonhuman might occupy
='lgc'>==> a better account for the ='strcls'>*="trms">ontology of knowing='strcls'>* ='lgc'>=/= merely ‘welcome’ dispossessed Others (women, slaves, ="trms">children, ="trms">animals, and other exiles from the land of knowers) into the ="trms">fold of knowers ='lgc'>[no! no!='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•to challange “I think therefore I am”='lgc'>: ='thdf'>the idea that the “="trms">world” is an idea that exists in the human mind ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge making is a not mediated activity ='lgc'>=/= (="ppl">="ppl">Barad's) “direct ="trms">material engagement”
="lsts lst1">•(the workshop begins with a ="trms">position that believes='lgc'>:) knowing is a distributed practice that in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes the larger ="trms">material arrangement ='lgc'>[then isn't the practice of ="trms">writing insufficient='qstn'>?='lgc'>]


after the first round we can ask='lgc'>: what do you need (un)know to ="trms">write/think that ="trms">story='qstn'>? or, what do you need to forget/unlearn in order to be able to think/="trms">imagine that ="trms">world='qstn'>?

another round of the workshop could be='lgc'>: ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where there is no ‘mediation’ or activities that are not ‘mediated’

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because of working on ="nms">ajayeb, i am becoming a “de="trms">finitionist,” or “de="trms">finitionologist” (not in the classical sense of concept theory)
a de="trms">finition i give is a local abstraction, even when it is making boundaries for a dispersed or global concept, it is still a ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge. that means it might be ="trms">categorical but not applicable outside this particulare niche of space and time, whether it is in a bar in a conversation with ="frds scrmbld">Eszter or when accessed in my hypertext

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="large lg3" stl="font-size:111%">
committed to the imperative of the ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">Rig, things not to do in the pop-up ="trms">book='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•use as ironic='lgc'>: incongruity in expectations of what is ment and what it will mean in advance
="lsts lst1">•use to ="trms">symbolize='lgc'>: as a way of not dealing with sujet ="trms">supposé savoir
="lsts lst1">•use of ana="trms">morphic gaze='lgc'>: a non-diffractive optical ="trms">system
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to be careful (or keep in check) with sequential ="trms">palindromic notion of pop-up ="trms">book, to deal with the parsable seesaw motif in="trms">herit in the pop-up ="trms">book Blickmaschin
="lsts lst1">•use hylo="trms">morphic='lgc'>: assumes form is inscribed ="trms">onto passive ="trms">matter (by an ="trms">agent with a design in mind)
="lsts lst1">•

(relevance should be worked) non-ironic non-="trms">symbolic non-ana="trms">morphic non-="trms">palindromic non-hylo="trms">morphic (='qstn'>?)

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="large lg14" stl="font-size:134%"> towards ="trms">writing the end of ="nms">apass dossier
="lsts lst1">•practices='lgc'>: workshops, (bow and arrow,) ="nms">ajayeb.net, ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigs ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> pop-up ="trms">book, notes, ="trms">routines, ="trms">excess,
="lsts lst1">•="trms">trajectory='lgc'>: bibliography, ="trms">wonder, ="trms">ongoingness, ="trms">ontology,
="lsts lst1">•productions='lgc'>: study as artwork, ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading as artwork, bottom-top approach to ="trms">writing,
="lsts lst1">•findings='lgc'>: every research practice='lgc'>: must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “="nms">body image”, must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “the image of creativity” especially if you are ="nms">iranian, must employ ="trms">ontological attention to ="trms">differential productions, must rework de="trms">compose r[...]