[...]apy (='lgc'><='lgc'>--='qstn'>?='lgc'>-- mindfulness)
="lsts lst1">•
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='prcnt'>%notes on ='at'>#workshop of ="trms">question (HWD)
="prgrph">-how come in my drawing class participancts couldn't even hold the pen
="prgrph">-participants lenzes couldn't focus, the words were in b="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lur and in disarray
="prgrph">-i had to stop free as="trms">sociations and ="trms">staggerings, and return to the task at hand
="prgrph">-it was like teaching a new ="trms">language
="prgrph">-i was trying to share my methorodlogy, ="trms">specificly. not a jam session
="prgrph">-is it neccesory or ="trms">interesting to learn eachother ="trms">methodlogies in order to get involved and engagned in eachother practices='qstn'>? maybe not ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> go back to re="trms">presentational tools ='lgc'>--are re="trms">presentational tools the best we have='qstn'>? or maybe, structurally we can't give workshop in ="nms">apass HWDs or endweeks, because participants are not there by free will that is usually mobilising them to look for and join a workshop that they are ="trms">interested in.
='prcnt'>%(am I='qstn'>?) ‘coming back with advices’ in ='mywrk'>my work ='lgc'>[='lgc'>[='at'>#="frds scrmbld">Esta='lgc'>]='lgc'>]
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is it ="trms">interesting for me or ='mywrk'>my research to think about how we moved that plant around in the 4th floor='qstn'>?
='strcls'>*moving plants='strcls'>* is risky
as backdrop for human activity
passively vegetating
making local and global connections='lgc'>: which local or global connections was made (by ="frds">Sina, ="frds scrmbld">Xiri and ="frds scrmbld">Esta moving the plant)='qstn'>? (how the plant was re="trms">positioned in our) making of public common spaces
="prgrph">-practices of concern
(attentive to the plant that was a) shared “thing” between us
what was mediated, navigated and ="trms">articulated with that plant in ="nms">apass 4th floor='qstn'>?
(with this i am trying to ask about the) kinds of ="trms">imaginative ="trms">world-making at work
gathering forces
="prgrph">-
the mice, and the pattern of rice, how did we become the ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader of mice's text='qstn'>? ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reader is always always constructed.
the mice disconnected us from global digital ="trms">networks and wrote something on the floor...
(which objects of our ="trms">systems design supporting some and not others) leaving out what are locally perceived as “nonpeople” can mean nonworking ="trms">system. (biologists not seeing their secretaries as doing real ="trms">science, artists in ="nms">apass not seeing the mice doing real work, etc.)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*(="ppl">Leigh ="ppl">="ppl">Star's) “ethnography of infrastructure”='strcls'>* -infrastructure is both ="trms">relational and ="trms">ecological, both transparent and opaque. it is part of the balance of action, tools, and the built environment. ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]infrastructure='lgc'>: a ="trms">dense ="trms">interwoven fabric of shared visions of possible and acceptable dreams (of the inovative, as ="trms">techniques, knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge, know-how, and the institutions).
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my previous ="trms">lectures have been ="trms">communicating something I don't quite understand to an audience that doesn't want to know. but still somehow they became not in="trms">different to my madness and we managed to establish lines of ="trms">interest and ="trms">interference (='lgc'>=/= restoring the phalus to its proper place, or getting a ="trms">membership)
i am building another wit ='lgc'>=/= you know when you are on some kind of auto-="trms">respond, those smart fast answers. my wits take ages to come through. in a way i have been slowing down certain kinds of wit. that's also why it is so easy to silence me.
i have been also busy with the timing of understanding. how to keep understanding open and ongoing='qstn'>? there is this standard general sense that becomes very upset when things are not immediately understood (='at'>#double-click democratization of ="trms">communication,) ='mywrk'>my workings have been perhaps invested in keeping my own (not-fully-)understood alive for a while. if things were instantly understandable we wouldn't be here.
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="trms">question at ="frds scrmbld">Hoda
how to make her ="trms">interested in ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphysics='qstn'>? in queer studies and practices
physics is the river of ="trms">phenomena
="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">meta='lgc'>: above, among, beyond
="trms">ontological commitment to='lgc'>:
sense of ="trms">wonder
sense of sadness
sense of madness
what (else) ="trms">literature can be if not elegy='qstn'>?
sonic level of sign-making and significance in her act
soft-spoken adjectives
“sigh”='lgc'>: ="trms">poetry's start-up engine, aaaahh
somewhere between lament and mourning
proper address of the mother
which ‘s="trms">cene of ="trms">modern or classical ="trms">language’ you are opening='qstn'>?
‘sigh’ is important, sigh initiates (many in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cluding german and ="nms">iranian) ="trms">literature
="nms">iranian ="trms">historical comfort zones
where ="trms">literature starts with sigh
when and how did you learn to sigh='qstn'>?
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sigh is from the family of the specialized ="trms">languages of ="trms">complaining='qstn'>?
temporal climate of your re="trms">membrance (as mourning) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> related to the ="trms">past='qstn'>?
mourning and ="trms">memory are sojourn for her
incorporating the object of (her) loss
(holding ="trms">onto) the unhappy objects of ="trms">difference
="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger, pain, misery, ...
which (good or bad) feelings saturates her ="trms">poem='qstn'>?
="trms">question of saturation
which feelings modified by which ="trms">poetics sutures which wounds='qstn'>? زخمبندی
or to be more psychoanalytically correct='lgc'>: where is the wound='qstn'>?
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my own affirmative exposure of the unhappy effects of her ="trms">poetry
what is the image of the ‘better life’ in her ="trms">poetry='qstn'>?
somehow in the ="trms">literary habitus she is moving, the o="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigin of descriptive/inscriptive saying is made by an initial violation
="frds scrmbld">Hoda's ="trms">poem, which energies does it unleash in her='qstn'>?
sokhan-e ranj سخن رنج
شعر غنایی Lyric ="trms">poetry, a formal type of ="trms">poetry which is defined by or dedicated to expressing so-called personal emotions or feelings.
the Lyre, a string ="trms">instrument in ="trms">Greek classical antiquity, is tuning the ="trms">technicality of this ‘form’
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="trms">historical ="trms">contingencies of “personal feelings”
='qstn'>?what is more singular than your “personal” highs, trips, crashes, “feelings” ='lgc'>==> a text telling about itself (its ownmost experience of something that is radically singular)
="prgrph">-="trms">rhetoric of singularity
="prgrph">-(my point is that the expression of your) innermost experience (is often signed by someone else)
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> “distributed biographies,” thinking about ="trms">sociality of perception
her ="trms">poem is her textual body (='lgc'>='lgc'><='lgc'>--> sexual body)
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ecstasy
is subjectivity (permanently for ="frds scrmbld">Hoda) ecstatic='qstn'>?
this is the ="trms">question of ‘where is the subject’='qstn'>? ="trms">according to ="trms">different practices with ecstasy we are outside ourselves. (in ="trms">religion that is precisely where the ‘inside’ is located)
="prgrph">-permanent or structural ecstasy is clearly political
="prgrph">-ecstasy is disruptive
how much should I be invested or ="trms">interested as a friend for your happiness and wellbeing='qstn'>?
="lsts lst1">•fellow-feeling
="lsts lst1">•="trms">sympathy (is expressed by='lgc'>:) returning feeling with like feeling
="frds">Sina='lgc'>: if a thinking makes you sad, that thinking is probably wrong='qstn'>?
within the ="trms">rhetoric of ="trms">integration a usual terrifying point is in which the duty of the migrant is to attach to a ="trms">different, happier object
the future of reattachment ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="frds scrmbld">Hoda
="prgrph">-in this ="trms">integrative ="trms">narrative, I have to be careful with assumptions that good feelings are open and bad feelings are closed
bad feelings are seen as orientated toward the ="trms">past ='lgc'>=/= ='mywrk'>my work on ="trms">past
she said “here is the English-one” meaning the English ="trms">translation of her ="trms">poem
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> in the last five years i have been rifting between the difficult space between “here the ="trms">Farsi-one” and “here the English-one”
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='at'>#semester, seminar study the “s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing”
keywords='lgc'>: deconstruction, fabrication, ="trms">articulation, plasticity
='lgc'>[week 1,2,3='lgc'>] encounters between psychoanalysis, deconstruction, ="trms">writing, concepts of ="trms">language='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Derrida ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Freud / “="ppl">Freud ='and'>& the S="trms">cene of ="trms">Writing” (43 pages)
="lsts lst1">•Fleming ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Derrida / “Cultural Graphology ="trms">Writing After ="ppl">Derrida” (first chapter='lgc'>: The Psychopathology of ="trms">Writing, 29 pages)
="lsts lst1">•the schemas of text and the trace, Malabou on plasticity ='lgc'>[='lgc'>=/= elasticity='lgc'>] (change of the paradigm of ="trms">writing as developed in ="ppl">Derrida's Grammatology with the new paradigm of plasticity, her ="trms">interest in ="trms">relation between form, ="trms">materiality and meaning) / “Plasticity at the Dusk of ="trms">Writing” (28 pages)
='lgc'>[week 4='lgc'>] 20th century ="trms">sciences and philosophies, ='thdf'>the notion of fabrication of concepts='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•Xin Wei ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Whitehead / “="ppl">Whitehead's ="trms">Poetical Mathematics” (19 pages)
='lgc'>[week 5='lgc'>] on ="trms">articulation='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Deleuze and ="ppl">Guattari / “A Thousand Plateaus” (chapter 3='lgc'>: Double ="trms">Articulation, 32 pages)
='lgc'>[week 6='lgc'>] feminist and women studies, s="trms">cene of ="trms">writing='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="trms">aesthetic tentacularity='lgc'>: Lindsay Kelley ='and'>& Eva ="ppl">="ppl">Hayward / “Carnal Light”
='lgc'>[week 7='lgc'>] digital media='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Flusser on hypertext / “Does ="trms">Writing Have a Future” (chapter='lgc'>: Supertext, 6 pages)
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Bolter / “="trms">Writing Space” (chapter 3 ="trms">Writing as ="trms">Technology, 13 pages)
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='at'>#workshop little ="trms">fables of practice, second day ="trms">storytelling
(proposed initially to ="frds scrmbld">Lili='lgc'>:) ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where its populace don't practice ‘knowing’
with this practice we get into ="trms">questions of (='lgc'>--without directly addressing/announcing them we will provoke a better understanding of what we might think of them='lgc'>:)
="lsts lst1">•knowing ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (the inseparability of) knowing, being, and doing
="lsts lst1">•the ‘="trms">suppos’ of the ="trms">supposed to know
="lsts lst1">•="trms">rhetorics, and intrinsicality (“on the inside”)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">response ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (‘knowing’ =) ="trms">differential accountability ='lgc'>=/= ="trms">differential ="trms">responsiveness
="lsts lst1">•environment
="lsts lst1">•description (discursive significance)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">world, and sense-making
="lsts lst1">•="trms">geometry (and -metry)
="lsts lst1">•(intelligibility and) ="trms">materiality enacted ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">question of discourse
="lsts lst1">•="trms">epistemology
="lsts lst1">•conceptions of space and time
="lsts lst1">•reflection (as a ="trms">pervasive ="trms">trope of knowing) ='lgc'>[mirroring, imitation, reflection, ="trms">tropes of “sameness"='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•="trms">material discursive evolving
="lsts lst1">•="trms">mattering; ="trms">matter and intelligibility, ="trms">episteme and ="trms">techne, macro and micro,
="lsts lst1">•
the workshop is in a way about the ="trms">trope of knowing, ="trms">ontology of knowing
(ways of) knowing entangled with mode of being
(with which creature='qstn'>?) ="trms">matter's dynamism is intrinsic to its biodynamic way of being (='lgc'>--="ppl">="ppl">Barad='lgc'>='lgc'>--> for brittlestar everything is intrinsic)
(creatures that) constantly changing its ="trms">geometry and its topology ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ongoing reworking of bodily boundaries
(our, and an alien critter's “it”’s) discoursive practices='lgc'>: boundary-drawing practices by which it ="trms">differentiates between “itself” and the “environment” ='lgc'>==> making sense of its ="trms">world ='lgc'>[='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='thdf'>that is why i am ="trms">interested in the (better='qstn'>?) ="trms">articulation of “="trms">differences” (= boundary-making practices, our “="trms">differential productions”) that we are making, as a way of getting into eachother discourses ='lgc'>='lgc'>~='lgc'>~and='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (its) ongoing ="trms">materialization ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*="trms">differential ="trms">materialization='strcls'>* (is discursive; ="ppl">="ppl">Barad)='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•patterns of ="trms">difference
="lsts lst1">•I am against the ‘frictionless ="trms">narrative space’ (in the absence of the dominant ="trms">story) where “everything” (therefore nothing) is possible
(the workshop engages in thinking) ="trms">intertwined practices of knowing and being
='lgc'>[this practice of ="trms">storytelling might be relevant for those invested in ="trms">questions of='lgc'>: knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge production, speculative theory, ="trms">situated bodies critique, ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges critique, being ‘of’ the ="trms">world,='lgc'>]
="prgrph">-to think creatures/beings that have evolved in ="trms">intra-action with their environment
="prgrph">-to ="trms">question and examine the ="trms">ontological issues='lgc'>: the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge is presumed never to be too far removed from the human. in the workshop we re="trms">imagine the locus of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge in other location that nonhuman might occupy
='lgc'>==> a better account for the ='strcls'>*="trms">ontology of knowing='strcls'>* ='lgc'>=/= merely ‘welcome’ dispossessed Others (women, slaves, ="trms">children, ="trms">animals, and other exiles from the land of knowers) into the ="trms">fold of knowers ='lgc'>[no! no!='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•to challange “I think therefore I am”='lgc'>: ='thdf'>the idea that the “="trms">world” is an idea that exists in the human mind ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge making is a not mediated activity ='lgc'>=/= (="ppl">="ppl">Barad's) “direct ="trms">material engagement”
="lsts lst1">•(the workshop begins with a ="trms">position that believes='lgc'>:) knowing is a distributed practice that in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">cludes the larger ="trms">material arrangement ='lgc'>[then isn't the practice of ="trms">writing insufficient='qstn'>?='lgc'>]
after the first round we can ask='lgc'>: what do you need (un)know to ="trms">write/think that ="trms">story='qstn'>? or, what do you need to forget/unlearn in order to be able to think/="trms">imagine that ="trms">world='qstn'>?
another round of the workshop could be='lgc'>: ='at'>#="trms">imagine and describe an alien ="trms">world where there is no ‘mediation’ or activities that are not ‘mediated’
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because of working on ="nms">ajayeb, i am becoming a “de="trms">finitionist,” or “de="trms">finitionologist” (not in the classical sense of concept theory)
a de="trms">finition i give is a local abstraction, even when it is making boundaries for a dispersed or global concept, it is still a ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge. that means it might be ="trms">categorical but not applicable outside this particulare niche of space and time, whether it is in a bar in a conversation with ="frds scrmbld">Eszter or when accessed in my hypertext
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committed to the imperative of the ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">Rig, things not to do in the pop-up ="trms">book='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•use as ironic='lgc'>: incongruity in expectations of what is ment and what it will mean in advance
="lsts lst1">•use to ="trms">symbolize='lgc'>: as a way of not dealing with sujet ="trms">supposé savoir
="lsts lst1">•use of ana="trms">morphic gaze='lgc'>: a non-diffractive optical ="trms">system
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to be careful (or keep in check) with sequential ="trms">palindromic notion of pop-up ="trms">book, to deal with the parsable seesaw motif in="trms">herit in the pop-up ="trms">book Blickmaschin
="lsts lst1">•use hylo="trms">morphic='lgc'>: assumes form is inscribed ="trms">onto passive ="trms">matter (by an ="trms">agent with a design in mind)
="lsts lst1">•
(relevance should be worked) non-ironic non-="trms">symbolic non-ana="trms">morphic non-="trms">palindromic non-hylo="trms">morphic (='qstn'>?)
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towards ="trms">writing the end of ="nms">apass dossier
="lsts lst1">•practices='lgc'>: workshops, (bow and arrow,) ="nms">ajayeb.net, ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigs ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> pop-up ="trms">book, notes, ="trms">routines, ="trms">excess,
="lsts lst1">•="trms">trajectory='lgc'>: bibliography, ="trms">wonder, ="trms">ongoingness, ="trms">ontology,
="lsts lst1">•productions='lgc'>: study as artwork, ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading as artwork, bottom-top approach to ="trms">writing,
="lsts lst1">•findings='lgc'>: every research practice='lgc'>: must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “="nms">body image”, must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude “the image of creativity” especially if you are ="nms">iranian, must employ ="trms">ontological attention to ="trms">differential productions, must rework de="trms">compose redefine its root-="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors, must give extensive ="trms">="trms">equipment ="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list, must trace its ="trms">social connections in a wider ="trms">ecology of practices, must in="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clude a critique of ="trms">technology,
="lsts lst1">•moments of com="trms">position='lgc'>: a s="trms">cene animated by some quality, or... taking place as accidents (or not)
key ="trms">literature, magic wands='lgc'>:
1st ="trms">stage='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•Richard ="ppl">Sennett='lgc'>: Flesh and Stonne ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="nms">body image
="lsts lst1">•Manuel ="ppl">Delanda='lgc'>: A 1000 Years of Nonlinear ="trms">History ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">material ="trms">histories
="lsts lst1">•Eduardo ="ppl">Kohn='lgc'>: How Forests Thinks ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">semiotics
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Timothy ="ppl">="ppl">Morton='lgc'>: ="trms">Sublime Objects ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">ontology
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Avital Ronnel='lgc'>: (="trms">lectures and articles) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">poetics
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Donna ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway='lgc'>: (="trms">lectures and articles) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">rhetorics
2nd ="trms">stage='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Martha ="ppl">="ppl">Kenney='lgc'>: ="trms">Fables of Attention ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='strcls'>*rationality='lgc'>: mixture of the highly rational and the highly fantastic
="lsts lst1">•Karen ="ppl">="ppl">Barad='lgc'>: Posthumanist Performativity, Invertebrate Visions ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">apparatus
="lsts lst1">•Eva ="ppl">="ppl">Hayward='lgc'>: visualizing ="trms">apparatuses ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> her ="trms">interest in optics, in the optics in which marine invertebrates and people come together through visualizing ="trms">apparatuses
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Vinciane ="ppl">="ppl">Despret='lgc'>: The Becomings of Subjectivity in ="trms">Animal ="trms">Worlds ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> learning about ="trms">anthropo-="trms">zoo-genetics
="lsts lst1">•Kathleen ="ppl">="ppl">Stewart='lgc'>: nonre="trms">presentational theory ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> other ways of description
="lsts lst1">•="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King='lgc'>: ="trms">technologies of ="trms">writing ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a better thinking of locals and globals
="lsts lst1">•
(curiosity ='lgc'>==>) having to figure out how to do something that i don't al="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready know how to do='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•="trms">ongoingness of collective practices of knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge and concern
="lsts lst1">•talking about (what is going on with) ="nms">ajayeb
="lsts lst1">•paying attention to ="trms">differential ="trms">ontologies
="lsts lst1">•the stuff that happens through face-to-face colleagueship
="lsts lst1">•to be in productive alliance
="lsts lst1">•
unalianated critical work='lgc'> = art
="frds">Seifee wants to say something
something wants to say ="frds">Seifee='qstn'>?
i like us to be ="trms">skilled at
="lsts lst1">•objective perception
="lsts lst1">•5 minute perception
="lsts lst1">•="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">rigorously passionate perception
="lsts lst1">•="trms">rhetorical perception
="lsts lst1">•sacred perception
="lsts lst1">•devilish perception
="lsts lst1">•queer non-perception
="lsts lst1">•having a taste for ="nms">iranian stuff perception
="lsts lst1">•
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> poly="trms">skilled web of friends
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='at'>#="nms">Bambi's mother studies='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•other ="trms">stories possibility, ="trms">past and ="trms">history, performative approach to film
="lsts lst1">•politics of ="trms">memory, and ="trms">affect
="lsts lst1">•patterns of re="trms">membrance ='lgc'>=/= event recall
="lsts lst1">•
three ="trms">childhood ="trms">memories, ="trms">stories, from elementary school='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•the ="trms">mime of “you think (too much)”
="lsts lst1">•the weird pro hit on the coming ball
="lsts lst1">•peeping into the toilet
="lsts lst1">•
my ="trms">childhood recognizing='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•filaments (hypha, hyphae, تار) of spider webs
="lsts lst1">•patterns of ants
="lsts lst1">•motion color b="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lurings ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> that ="trms">present is “physical if the eye is quick enough” (="frds scrmbld">Stevens)
="lsts lst1">•
the ways i was engaged as a ="trms">child in scope-="trms">apparatus, micro-macro scales
what other ="trms">stories, re="trms">membrances of the ="trms">past are possible='qstn'>?
="prgrph">-="trms">different ="trms">apparatuses of attention, reconstruction, and ="trms">storytelling, that are ="trms">="trms">equipped to hold diffractive patterns of ‘that which comes to mind’
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can we care for “="nms">iranians” without “for ="nms">iran”='qstn'>?
(i can't care less about ="nms">Iran)
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perhaps artistic research is all about playing cat's cradle (='lgc'>=/= autism) ='lgc'>: (you have all ="trms">sorts of limbs, even ="nms">phantom limbs) you must learn sustaining the rhythm of accepting and giving, (collaborative) patterning (that requires passion and action) ='lgc'>[this is one ="trms">skill that ="trms">matters a lot, what i have been trying to teach myself above anything else in the last years='lgc'>] ='lgc'>[i am playing that game with ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway, joining her (and others) in ="trms">thick, collaborative patterning; generous knottings; ="trms">thickening the knots, relaying a mutated and re="trms">situated pattern for the next play='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•getting the knot, proposing another
="lsts lst1">•you must learn how to hold still
="lsts lst2">◦(more and more) in ="trms">different ="trms">material and conceptual grains of detail and resolution
="lsts lst1">•the most important thing in research practices is this patterning, ="trms">networks reenacted (="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King)
(="frds scrmbld">Lili's kiss project was about that, blocked ="trms">intersubjectivity, a ="trms">matter of “learning to be ="trms">affected”; can i say that ="frds scrmbld">Lili's issue is with the lack of ='lgc'>[psychological, or psychic='lgc'>] dialogue='qstn'>? a ="trms">language that no longer carries ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor displaces the ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphorical drive='lgc'>: acting out the soul's ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphor in direct ='lgc'>[non="trms">verbal='lgc'>] action. the breath in ="frds scrmbld">Lili's work, is the same in her suffocated kiss and scream performance, once hold in and one unleashed, lack of a “breather,” of a “converser,” of a partner in cat's cradle.)='lgc'>--='lgc'>[i like to propose a repatterning='lgc'>: in research environments we play a lot “catch me if you can”='lgc'>: to catching you in action, to capture your ‘knowing’ in action, to capture eros or logos in act, ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='at'>#beauty is ="trms">interested in action='lgc'>]
="lsts lst1">•it is about “understanding living with contra="trms">diction” ='lgc'>: making choices without necessarily turning the other choices into something an enemy does ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> important for collective research life; “='lgc'>[we='lgc'>] need each other's extremes”; ='strcls'>*our activisms are not the same='strcls'>*='lgc'>: to open up to our extremes, to open up to what you are not sure of ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> to find ways to be in productive alliance (='lgc'>=/= ='thdf'>the notion that everybody has to do everything ='lgc'>[tell ="frds scrmbld">Xiri='lgc'>])
="lsts lst1">•(educating oneself) actually know how to explain what somebody else said and not just what you said='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> figuring out how to disagree with each other as well as agree, that no statement is going to be taken as evidence of being the enemy (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> we face this in ="nms">apass)
="lsts lst1">•learning how to recognize ="trms">authority (as a mentor and participant) (the problem of the inability to deal with ="trms">authority, common in early feminist movement, traces in ="frds scrmbld">Xiri) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> being alert to how hierarchy shut people up that one don't acknowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge the hierarchies that emerge out of that ='strcls'>*='lgc'>{alarm ='lgc'>==> hierarchy='lgc'>}='strcls'>*
="lsts lst1">•in ="nms">apass i am trying to re="trms">member what my peers are doing, and when i see things i think of them, and they are in my ="trms">citation ="trms">network (they are all over ="nms">ajayeb.net) and i am aware of what they have told me. words they are inventing are in my ="trms">vocabulary too (='thdf'>that is why i am so energetic calling in ="frds scrmbld">Xiri's ="trms">category change ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> for example “generous suspicion”)
="lsts lst1">•collective research environment works by ="trms">networks='strcls'>* (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a problem with ="nms">apass)
='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]="trms">epistemology='lgc'> = ="trms">stories knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges tell
sometimes practices ="trms">demand='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•ex="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusive expertise (='lgc'>~ focus)
="lsts lst1">•extensive scholarship ='lgc'>==> linking and speculating
="lsts lst1">•attaching unexpected ="trms">agencies and territories to each other
(better) understanding the mechanisms and ="trms">affects of in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion and ex="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion in ="trms">communities of practice
for example in ="nms">apass (we are dealing with)='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•suffer ='lgc'><== ="trms">mutual incomprehensions
="lsts lst1">•pain ='lgc'><== heterogeneous knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge ="trms">worlds
="lsts lst1">•="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger ='lgc'><== unevenly distributed power
="lsts lst1">•fatigue ='lgc'><== exposure to intensity
="lsts lst1">•tension ='lgc'><== ="trms">different ="trms">styles of knowing
unacknowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edged suffering ='lgc'>--(in ="trms">past and ="trms">present)='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda='lgc'>='lgc'>--> as well as pleasures
(what do you make out of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading your gender ="trms">material='qstn'>?)
="trms">Greek brainwomb
feminism ='lgc'>='lgc'>~/= feminist theory='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{highly diverse, located in many domains of practices in and out of the university, and understood to be this highly diverse activity='lgc'>}
the talks i have been giving are done by someone with a kind of mind and soul that just makes connections fast. i work orally. the ="trms">lectures are heavily prepared (and some important ways unprepared in the manner of its performance='lgc'>: all those connections happening during the talk not knowing them beforehand, they happen by the encounter='strcls'>*) and full of cue (سخن رهنما، ايماء، اشارت) and quirk (تزئينات، تناقض گويى، تغيير ناگهانى فکر). my notes and scripting are invisible to my audience, but they are there at work. and it gets people ex="trms">cited. and that's the point. i work with confusion and ex="trms">citement. i have not been good at laying out groundwork of ="trms">skills, going to next level and so on. i am working with that feeling of “i am not sure what i am getting, by i think i am getting it”. i also always come back, loop again through the same ="trms">material, go back to the ="trms">question we were raising before and ='strcls'>***“watch what is happening to the ="trms">language”='strcls'>***(="ppl">="ppl">Haraway). these are the ways my connections work. artistic and scholarly work works by ='strcls'>**modes of attention='strcls'>** ='lgc'>[='lgc'>--re="trms">member='lgc'>='lgc'>--> your mode of attention (= your mode of abstraction) is doing the foregrounding and the ="trms">world is not actually built that way. so you make ‘your mode of attention='lgc'> = ="trms">world’ to inhabit something for a certain time only to do a certain kind of work)='lgc'>] ='lgc'>--(because)='lgc'>='lgc'>--> you are always jumping into the middle of something that is ongoing before you, into the middle of many conversations. you are learning how to get it in several ways at once. the hypertext that i have been building also characterizes these kinds of layering upon layering of textual work. teaching myself how to ="trms">write and how to play with ideas.
working with (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's) kind of good-enough approach to a body of scholarship ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> inhabiting many things that i have only got half-di="trms">gested (='lgc'>=/= through di="trms">gestion, particular bodies of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading that people need to have mastered in order to argue)
(after five years now i am) feeling myself (a little bit more) competent and confident in (some) ="trms">scientific ="trms">literacy and in (some of) the ="trms">skills of the arts and ="trms">literature ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='qstn'>?
after ="nms">apass='lgc'>: ="nms">apass was a safe-enough space for my inventive processes, to make ="trms">interesting mistakes, but do i need a real scholarly undertaking with ="nms">ajayeb='qstn'>?
i had a lousy education, don't know still how to ="trms">write well and coherently and sustain a project. i don't have the ="trms">skills to pull off ='mywrk'>my research as a phd, as a scholar. i need someone to work with me line-by-line. i need to go people who have ="trms">serious educations in my subject, and ask them ="trms">questions, and ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read.
and i am missing that kind of connectivity that your ="trms">writing being ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read performs. do i need an atmosphere in which my kind of ="trms">writerly activities are honored and foregrounded, and expected='qstn'>?
can my ="nms">ajayeb beome a real scholarly project with ="trms">seriously labor-intensive student work='qstn'>?
hostility ='lgc'>=/= indi="trms">gestibility ='lgc'>{they cannot recognize it, it is something else='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> it is not personal, but a ="trms">historical state of a discourse, and the ="trms">nature of the kinds of possibilities that being opened up or closed
(in ="nms">apass) all of us fail each other in ="trms">different ways all the time='strcls'>*
we can barely ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read each other's works/="trms">books. but we do, and we struggle with each other's works/="trms">books
(in ="nms">apass i am catching my self giving “advice” to others='lgc'>='lgc'>---risk of the advice='lgc'>:) violation of their ="trms">integrity
='strcls'>*taxonomy='lgc'>: (constantly ="trms">morphing) tools, they work and get worked, ='strcls'>*they are part of ="trms">situated conversations='strcls'>* (='lgc'>~ “theory conversations” ="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King < ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(='lgc'>=/= some kind of enemy that you never do)
='strcls'>***almost everybody is organically part of more than one conversation at a time='strcls'>*** (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(this is so important to recognize specially in collaborative research environments such as ="nms">apass)
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(in political movement='lgc'>:) working to a kind of clarity of ideological ="trms">position ='lgc'>==> to do certain kinds of things (that are harder t[...]