[...]ects of in="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion and ex="trms">="trms"nttrm="cluster,club">clusion in ="trms">communities of practice
for example in ="nms">apass (we are dealing with)='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•suffer ='lgc'><='lgc'>== ="trms">mutual incomprehensions
="lsts lst1">•pain ='lgc'><='lgc'>== heterogeneous knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge ="trms">worlds
="lsts lst1">•="trms"nttrm="danger,stranger">anger ='lgc'><='lgc'>== unevenly distributed power
="lsts lst1">•fatigue ='lgc'><='lgc'>== exposure to intensity
="lsts lst1">•tension ='lgc'><='lgc'>== ="trms">different ="trms">styles of knowing

unacknowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edged suffering ='lgc'>--(in ="trms">past and ="trms">present)='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda='lgc'>='lgc'>--> as well as pleasures


(what do you make out of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading your gender ="trms">material='qstn'>?)


="trms">Greek brainwomb

="large lg2" stl="font-size:112%">
feminism  ='lgc'>='lgc'>~/= feminist theory='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{highly diverse, located in many domains of practices in and out of the university, and understood to be this highly diverse activity='lgc'>}


the talks i have been giving are done by someone with a kind of mind and soul that just makes connections fast. i work orally. the ="trms">lectures are heavily prepared (and some important ways unprepared in the manner of its performance='lgc'>: all those connections happening during the talk not knowing them beforehand, they happen by the encounter='strcls'>*) and full of cue (سخن رهنما، ايماء، اشارت) and quirk (تزئينات، تناقض گويى، تغيير ناگهانى فکر). my notes and scripting are invisible to my audience, but they are there at work. and it gets people ex="trms">cited. and that's the point. i work with confusion and ex="trms">citement. i have not been good at laying out groundwork of ="trms">skills, going to next level and so on. i am working with that feeling of “i am not sure what i am getting, by i think i am getting it”. i also always come back, loop again through the same ="trms">material, go back to the ="trms">question we were raising before and ='strcls'>***“watch what is happening to the ="trms">language”='strcls'>***(="ppl">="ppl">Haraway). these are the ways my connections work. artistic and scholarly work works by ='strcls'>**modes of attention='strcls'>** ='lgc'>[='lgc'>--re="trms">member='lgc'>='lgc'>--> your mode of attention (= your mode of abstraction) is doing the foregrounding and the ="trms">world is not actually built that way. so you make ‘your mode of attention='lgc'> = ="trms">world’ to inhabit something for a certain time only to do a certain kind of work)='lgc'>] ='lgc'>--(because)='lgc'>='lgc'>--> you are always jumping into the middle of something that is ongoing before you, into the middle of many conversations. you are learning how to get it in several ways at once. the hypertext that i have been building also characterizes these kinds of layering upon layering of textual work. teaching myself how to ="trms">write and how to play with ideas.
working with (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's) kind of good-enough approach to a body of scholarship ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> inhabiting many things that i have only got half-di="trms">gested (='lgc'>=/= through di="trms">gestion, particular bodies of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading that people need to have mastered in order to argue)

(after five years now i am) feeling myself (a little bit more) competent and confident in (some) ="trms">scientific ="trms">literacy and in (some of) the ="trms">skills of the arts and ="trms">literature ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='qstn'>?

after ="nms">apass='lgc'>: ="nms">apass was a safe-enough space for my inventive processes, to make ="trms">interesting mistakes, but do i need a real scholarly undertaking with ="nms">ajayeb='qstn'>?
i had a lousy education, don't know still how to ="trms">write well and coherently and sustain a project. i don't have the ="trms">skills to pull off ='mywrk'>my research as a phd, as a scholar. i need someone to work with me line-by-line. i need to go people who have ="trms">serious educations in my subject, and ask them ="trms">questions, and ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read.
and i am missing that kind of connectivity that your ="trms">writing being ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read performs. do i need an atmosphere in which my kind of ="trms">writerly activities are honored and foregrounded, and expected='qstn'>?

can my ="nms">ajayeb beome a real scholarly project with ="trms">seriously labor-intensive student work='qstn'>?


hostility ='lgc'>=/= indi="trms">gestibility ='lgc'>{they cannot recognize it, it is something else='lgc'>}='lgc'>='lgc'>--> it is not personal, but a ="trms">historical state of a discourse, and the ="trms">nature of the kinds of possibilities that being opened up or closed


(in ="nms">apass) all of us fail each other in ="trms">different ways all the time='strcls'>*

we can barely ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">read each other's works/="trms">books. but we do, and we struggle with each other's works/="trms">books


(in ="nms">apass i am catching my self giving “advice” to others='lgc'>='lgc'>---risk of the advice='lgc'>:) violation of their ="trms">integrity

='strcls'>*taxonomy='lgc'>: (constantly ="trms">morphing) tools, they work and get worked, ='strcls'>*they are part of ="trms">situated conversations='strcls'>* (='lgc'>~ “theory conversations” ="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King < ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(='lgc'>=/= some kind of enemy that you never do)


='strcls'>***almost everybody is organically part of more than one conversation at a time='strcls'>*** (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)
(this is so important to recognize specially in collaborative research environments such as ="nms">apass)


(in political movement='lgc'>:) working to a kind of clarity of ideological ="trms">position ='lgc'>='lgc'>==> to do certain kinds of things (that are harder to do if you don't have them ='lgc'>[those ideological ="trms">positions='lgc'>] in the ="trms">world) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> they are used as ='strcls'>*tools='strcls'>* to produce what got called ='strcls'>*political correctness='strcls'>* ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> always producing those who count and those who don't count='strcls'>*
='lgc'>=/=='qstn'>? feminist movement='lgc'> = ='strcls'>***a kind of vulnerability to not being who you thought you were='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>: openness to risk, less of a defensiveness, less of an attack mentality, not shaping each other up into vanguards پيشقراول ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (towards thinking) ="trms">differential/op="trms">positional consciousness (='lgc'>=/= father, single kind of creators)


="large lg14" stl="font-size:122%"> “you can know if you are wrong in rather ="trms">interesting, ="trms">situated ways”
='at'>@="frds scrmbld"nttrm="Leonardo">Leo
='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Maarten


='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]"was”='lgc'>: (so important for ="nms">iranians ='lgc'>[='at'>#="trms">past='lgc'>]) a geographical place, a place='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•of pain
="lsts lst1">•of fantasy
="lsts lst1">•of hope
="lsts lst1">•of possibility
="lsts lst1">•of defeat
="lsts lst1">•of breaking and building
(='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a borderland)

="large lg1" stl="font-size:128%">
="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors that are also real places
figurings that are also (always unequally) lived in the flesh


to think “contact zone” instead of “binary shape”
ways of living and ="trms">technologies, ways of doing the ="trms">world forcibly brought together in ="trms">relations of ="trms">serious inequality, but which do not take the simple shape of dominator and dominated


='strcls'>*“abstractions are precious and they take a huge amount of work to know how to build them well”='strcls'>*

(='qstn'>?how do i know when in working with ="nms">ajayeb) sometimes you are required (at the same time!)='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•to be dead ="trms">literal
="lsts lst1">•to be precise
="lsts lst1">•to be analytically good
="lsts lst1">•to be unforgivingly ="trms">technically ="trms"nttrm="righ,rigo,riga,rigi,trig,rign">right
="lsts lst1">•to be flaming ="trms">imaginative
="lsts lst1">•


='strcls'>*breakdown='strcls'>*='lgc'>: where the normalizing fails ='lgc'>='lgc'>==> something else emerges


='strcls'>*every collective needs people who feel='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•(a grace given to you by the structure of your cells, you don't know where it comes from='lgc'>:) “root sense that the ="trms">world is not dead” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> a sense that things are moving and alive and future-full
="lsts lst1">•its people who feel despair (...emphasize the futurelessness of it all)

='strcls'>*!!!='lgc'>='lgc'>--> we (also) need sensibilities that are angrey at each other

(aligned with ="ppl">="ppl">Haraway) my ="trms">position has been that='lgc'>: we don't choose our sensibilities, we wake up and figure out what they are


(="ppl">="ppl">Haraway take on the ways we) may enginner as a ="trms">species now (tech, syntax, etc.)


to refuse the ="trms">story of the apocalypse ='lgc'>+ (still) recognizing the depth of the trouble
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="ppl">Freud's thanatos غريزه مرگ, a death instinct, (it is a deep, instinctual ="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure='lgc'>:) ='strcls'>*a ="trms">perverse pleasure in believing in inevitable fai="trms"nttrm="failure,blur,plur,lurk,tallur,slur">lure='strcls'>*


='strcls'>*="trms">transference is descriptively very apt for what goes on in artistic moves ='lgc'>[='lgc'><='lgc'>-- to be careful of='lgc'>]


='strcls'>**to risk a feeling of (despair, of...)

the ways some of us risk things intellectually and emotionally ="trms">different than each other


prima donna='lgc'>: doing whatever one does without any particular effort to nuance anything


='strcls'>*multiple impossibilities
learning from ="trms">religion, the ways of which the name of God has become an impossible ="trms">category. both catholics and muslim shia (='at'>#islam) are wellprepared for feeling this way, some kind of recognition of impossible thing. let's take that “being good at recognizing and affirming impossible things” and bring it to the name of women. that means as soon as you name what you mean by ‘women,’ you have told some kind of really impossible lie.
(how my muslim trained sensibilities are working and ="trms">mattering in my ="nms">ajayeb research='qstn'>? ways to ="trms">respond to ='strcls'>*the deadliness and the irreplaceable liveliness of ="trms">religion='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[کشندگی و سرزندگی یکتای مذهب='lgc'>], a ="trms">semiotics with implosion of sign and flesh)='lgc'>='lgc'>--> (i am so happy that) i cannot not know what it is like to be in a believing ="trms">community (a faith-based ="trms">community)='strcls'>***


...out of your own particular little ="trms">historical traditions


='strcls'>*because ='mywrk'>my research is about ="nms">ajayeb it can never only be about ="nms">ajayeb='strcls'>*


you can't do feminist theory without paying attention to the details of women lives
your mode of attention to women in the ="trms">world ='lgc'>==(shapes)='lgc'>='lgc'>==> your mode of attention to='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•the way ="trms">databases get set up
="lsts lst1">•the ways ="trms">interdisciplinarities get ="trms">crafted
="lsts lst1">•how you think about tools and genomics


my main point of my project has been about getting better at how to in="trms">herit your ="trms">histories without trashing them='strcls'>*** (even figuring out how to in="trms">herit a ="trms">history that you don't want to in="trms">herit)
(Islam, shyness, kindness, ="nms">ajayeb, ="nms">Iran, stuttering, being all too ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">ready to find complexities, )
="lsts lst1">•to become relaxed about predi="trms">gested version of ‘this is what ="nms">ajayeb is about’ (or Tasavof, etc.) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ‘what is going on there’ (in ="nms">ajayeb) is so built-in to ideologies of many kinds (of progress, deep ="trms">ecology, of ="trms">history, and so on)
="lsts lst1">•to build a little taxonomy (in ="nms">apass)
="lsts lst1">•working to give up the series of self-certainties around secularism ='lgc'>='lgc'>==> giving ways to talk to the ="trms">religious ones ='lgc'>: getting to grasp what the ="trms">world looks like in faith-based ="trms">communities (='lgc'>=/= check-="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list of dogma)
="lsts lst1">•="trms">category thinking='lgc'>: get into ="trms">differential liveliness (with all ="trms">sorts of inequalities='lgc'>:) ='strcls'>*who gets parsed how='strcls'>* ='lgc'>[='at'>#archive, ='at'>#="trms">articulation, ='at'>#="trms">storytelling='lgc'>] (and thinking about what it means to take up these ="trms">relationships in cultures saturated with ="trms">science and ="trms">technology)


="frds scrmbld">Xiri was doing her research with ="trms">categories of victim and opressor, and now they suddenly disappeared from her work. that ="trms">category change or ="trms">vocabulary change was suspiciously effortless


='strcls'>*re="trms">membering is an extremely creative practice (-note to ="frds scrmbld">Hoda-)
="trms">memories are like ecotone کناربوم (="trms">transition area between two adjacent eco="trms">systems)


='at'>#(very important concept partly shaped by practices of ="ppl">Darwin into our lives='lgc'>:) “collect” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> lies (necessary='qstn'>?)
the frenzy of the 1700 of surveying ="trms">nature and collecting speciment ='lgc'>='lgc'>==> bioinfomatic
‘collect’ promises nontransformation
='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">metaphors of archive, information-intense ways of thinking about life on earth

='strcls'>*“de="trms">monstration” coined by ="trms">science

="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

(with Scout ="ppl">="ppl">Calvert) the ways the digital ="trms">apparatuses are working, and the kinds of tensions and creativities between the cyber infrastructures and the other kinds informational management discourses displace other ="trms">book discourses ='strcls'>*** ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ="trms">categories explode in library practice
='lgc'>[="ppl">="ppl">Calvert donig brilliant discourse analysis of library ="trms">sciences ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> has direct impact on practices of ="trms"nttrm="already,spread">reading='at'>#, ="trms">different kinds of knowers='lgc'>]
="trms">techno-biblio-capital='lgc'>: ="trms">techno-capital and library practices embedded in each other ='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{ ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]="trms">technology='lgc'>: assemblages of people, computers, software, discourses, ="trms">techniques and workarounds that make them function; ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]capital='lgc'>: a ="trms">social arrangement in which buyers of labor power are entitled to profits and the sellers of labor power to wages and all the effects entailed in that arrangement; ='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]="trms">techno-capital='lgc'>: ="trms">techniques, discourse and ="trms">technologies used to ="trms">naturalize and derive capital from information and information ="trms">technologies='lgc'>}
='strcls'>*curiosity='lgc'> = a small and local kind of ='strcls'>*freedom='lgc'>[= ="trms">agency within constrain ='lgc'>==enabling='lgc'>='lgc'>==> ="trms">skillful meanings='lgc'>], curiosity resists control and has the power to defeat one's favourite self-certainties, can also be commodified for ="trms">consumer culture specializing in providing private pleasure,
="trms">techno-capital objectivism='lgc'>: (neutrality of) collection developemnt and format choices ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> power-sensitive judgments
“we will engineer ourselves out of that” ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> naive ="trms">technological optimism; ='strcls'>*the ="trms">technological ="trms">question is cruicial to ="trms">questions of power and knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge='strcls'>*
="prgrph">-library ="trms">science tends to ="trms">position library as power-neutral spaces
="prgrph">-(="ppl">="ppl">Foucault='lgc'>: resistence to power is always ="trms">present)
“freedom to” is always disciplinary (because there is always a particular subject enjoying that) ='lgc'>[citizen of liberal democracy who exercises the freedom of re="trms">presentative government, so much as a ="trms">consumer who exercises freedom of choice of commodities='lgc'>]
patrons as constituent مولفه (='lgc'>='lgc'>==> new knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge ='lgc'>+ themselves as knowers) ='lgc'>=/= seamless information ="trms">consumer discursively produced as an unmarked singular independent self-contained stable universal white male heteronormative ="trms">technophilic subject ='lgc'>[='lgc'><='lgc'>-- this donesn't realy exisit as a person, rather as discoursive productions='lgc'>]
(now) our electronic recreation is work='lgc'>: our every click is sur="trms">veilled, generating ="trms">data about our desires and curiosities that feeds back into our formation as ="trms">techno-capital subjects (='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Sven's enthusiasm with ="trms">social media='lgc'>--how can ="frds scrmbld">Sven has a real chance of producing resistance knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge='qstn'>?) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> this is not freedom! (-an account of freedom for one entails reciprocal unfreedom for others) ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> mixtures of work and play in this new economy, (="ppl">="ppl">Calvert > ="ppl">="ppl">Bateson) the ="trms"nttrm="metaph,metamorph,metabol,metal">meta-="trms">communicative ="trms">nature of ='strcls'>*play='lgc'>[= strict rules with genuine freedom, the dual essence of play='lgc'>: curiosity and ="trms">relationality='lgc'>];
(="ppl">="ppl">Calvert arguing for) “knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge-makers” who engages in creation of ="trms">situated knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edges by activity adapting, processing and sharing knowl="trms"nttrm="knowledge,Knowledge">edge within the ="trms">ecology of library ='lgc'>='lgc'>~= ='strcls'>*bibliographic ="trms">apparatus='strcls'>*
(="ppl">="ppl">Calvert's heuristic device to ="trms">imagine what library practices might emerge='lgc'>:) imperfectly ="trms">literate constituent seekers

="prgrph">-a double consciousness of play, where cognitive sensation amid multiple ="trms">affectivities are continually teased between assertion and rejection
="prgrph">-a doubled unconscious connoisseurship of rea="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list conventions pressured at new horizons
='lgc'>[="ppl">Katie ="ppl">King='lgc'>]

="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

(women's) mini-encounters with god ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> kind of ="trms">materiality of god that don't fit any of the available ="trms">categories


now-but-not-then quality of continuities


="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's deep commitment to the ties of ="trms">science and competence, pleasure, empowerment, (='lgc'>[='strcls'>*='lgc'>]="trms">science='lgc'>:) this ="trms">craft where you did this incredibly fragile, important, hard work of asking ="trms">questions of the ="trms">world in such a way that you might have half a chance of knowing if you are wrong='strcls'>***


you get it “there” ='lgc'>='lgc'>==> (you have a chance of) figuring out something else='strcls'>*


(sustainable life ways that involve) breeds ='lgc'>=/= factory farming

="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's problem with veganism's moral, who="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">listic, complex claim that they make on us (also a necessary kind of contemporary witness)='lgc'>: that people's practices with ="trms">animals as food and fiber and work ="trms">animals, turning into nothing but museum pieces at best. vegans deadly ="trms">imagination sometimes don't get what they kill='lgc'>: most kinds of ="trms">animals that have long ="trms">histories in close as="trms">sociation with people.

there is no ="trms">relationship to this ="trms">world that does not involve extensive killig (="ppl">="ppl">Haraway)


up-to-the-minute ="trms">technologies

complicated issues around security ="trms">apparatuses and ="trms">different national struggles

="trms">histories of dispossession and genocide


“do you believe='qstn'>?"='lgc'> = "do you believe in a ="trms"nttrm="listen,alist,ilist,llist,olist,ylist,ulist">list of dogma='qstn'>?”
totally wrong ="trms">question='lgc'>: do you believe in God='qstn'>?


='lgc'>[should i go to Berlin after ="nms">apass='qstn'>?='lgc'>] a parochial person دهاتی (in the pressure of the ="trms">seriously elite places)='lgc'>: you could be here, you could succeed here, but never belong here


="ppl">="ppl">Haraway's ‘="trms">literal’ makings='lgc'>:
="lsts lst1">•“companion” is about whom you are at table ="trms">literally='strcls'>*
="lsts lst1">•to be homo sapiens is to be in multi="trms">species ="trms">interdependencies ="trms">literally='strcls'>*


my issue with the image of the free floating meaning ="trms">network popular in artists’ thinking='lgc'>: yes meanings foreground and background. they swirl, but they don't swirl at random

="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

MOU (="trms">memorandum of understanding)='lgc'>='lgc'>-->='lgc'>{='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Esta ='lgc'>+ ="frds scrmbld">Zoumana ='lgc'>+ ="frds scrmbld">Hoda
='strcls'>*="trms">memorandum='lgc'>: ="trms">memo, reminder, note, تذکره ='lgc'>--='qstn'>?='lgc'>='lgc'>--> passport ='lgc'>: آنچه موجب یادآوری شود ='lgc'>='lgc'>--> آنچه موجب دخول شود
a legal document describing an agreement between parties less formal than a contract
='lgc'>[1994 U.S.-North Korea nuclear pact, the MOU between Bush and Kerry for 2004 debates,='lgc'>]

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="large lg3" stl="font-size:111%"> batlagh باتلاق



it is (perhaps the most) important to help transform (your or my) ‘wounded-="trms">child’ to ‘="trms">wonder-="trms">child’ (='lgc'>='lgc'>--> ='at'>@="frds scrmbld">Hoda)
='lgc'>[the image of the ="trms">wonder-="trms">child in all ='mywrk'>my workings='lgc'>]='strcls'>***

="large lg4" stl="font-size:110%"> ="display:block;white-space:nowrap;margin-bottom:-1em;overflow:hidden;">...................................

="lsts lst1">•accumulative='lgc'>: gradual increase as a whole, someone/something doing the accumulating, emphasis on the process of accumulating
="lsts lst1">•cumulative='lgc'>: nongradual successive [...]