[...]em of figures) and its deconstruction. But since this model cannot be closed off by a final reading, it engenders, in its turn, a supplementary figural superposition which narrates the unreadability of the prior narration.”

the analytic experience has a narrative character? psychoanalytic dialogue ‘uncovers’ a certain kind of narrative discontinuity maintained in the analysand's efforts
--> meaningful narrative sequences,
and, recaptured memory : a rhetorical product

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-the dominance of the narrative ‘The Origin’ [Ursprung] when we tell nature story, when we call in nature
-the dominance of the narrative ‘The Zoom’ when we tell nature story, (‘The Reveal’ story)
-




ok, it is 06.03.2017, i need to set up a track of commentary, a monogamous relation with ajayeb
and unload the myth that i am going to do something new:

1st: send super-ego away and cleared out --> no judgment
2nd: call the unengaged secretary to just write
3rd: throw some sort of sequencing on the page
4th: call the clean-up agent
5th: at some point super-ego comes and checks it out
6th: negotiation with the super-ego

(Avital,) start modest and small, listening to my passion, collects some texts or passages that hold this or that motif that i like or am concerned with, go in there and do a rhetorical reading, see what is going on in the language, allow myself be instructed and taught.

7th: wrap around the work, something of an *infomercial,* there i can get a little ego in there, bring myself to the table and situate myself in the world of art/scholarship/thinking/creativity/etc. and say where i am, what question do i bring to the table, what would be my question mark, i am at the table taking my place and this is my question mark, situate myself (=/= autistic, dar-khod-mandegi در خود ماندگی; i can't spin out as kind of rouge and solitary satellite that no one can connect with. i have to make the connections, in a world that is having debates and discursive encounters around my themes. i am *in conversation* --> responding, quoting, tuning,) standing up for myself and my text, “fake it till you make it,” yes i need to renarcissize and build up, at this phase towards the end i need to perform being assertive and show what i have brought to the table, and if i don't know that then i ask someone to tell me what have i done? where does it belong? how can i situate myself?

8th: sleep-walk, don't look down, don't wake myself up, don't ask why i am doing this

9th: (problematically Deleuzian:) *becoming woman*! (for Deleuze) all writing involves you (no matter how you are gendered or constructed or what you think you are) in becoming woman, which is to say the experience of a powerful submission and the ability to carry off the disappearance of agency or ego kick, subjecting oneself (to the other) before becoming subject.
[(Hayward) woman: vibratory being: sensation <~~(creative-response)~~> environment]

زن شو

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wunderkammer, cabinet of curiosities, is about the world unfinished

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the prefixial nature of ‘trans-’ : across, into, through : a prepositional force
Trans* foregrounds and intensifies the prehensile (گیرکننده), prefixial (pishvandi پیشوندی) nature of ‘trans-’ and implies a suffixial (pasvandi پسوندی) space of attachment that is simultaneously generalizable and abstract yet its function can be enacted only when taken up by particular objects (Hayward and'>& Weinstein)
trans* (prepositionally oriented) “is the process through which thingness and beingness are constituted” [...] “marking the ‘with,’ ‘through,’ ‘of,’ ‘in,’ and ‘across’ that make life possible”
•materializes prepositional movements

the ‘human on board’ no longer possesses critical purchase, it no longer “delineates a normative standard of legibility,” “the elite status of being considered fully human” (how is it in ajayeb?)
(biopolitics of) de-, in-, non-, trans-

a ‘turn’ (= a cause to move, a difference in position ==> a change in nature) enables creatures to migrate from the margins to the center of theoretical interrogatives

Haraway prefering (the energetic expressive capacity of) ‘with’ over ‘and’
-syntactical problem of ‘and’ raised to the power of n
-she puts the emphasis on with-ness --> to reinvigorate (tajdide niru تجدید نیرو) attention to materiality but also matter's contingent force --> intersectional demands of assemblage
“and...and...and”
trans, speciating technology, the drive for suffixial endpoints


(prepositional operations on suffixiated) assemblages of spacetimematterings


**** terrible violence is directed to the non-existing, the never having existed


‘*’ (the asterisk) is paratactic (faghede ravabet فاقد روابط) (=/= conjunction,) it designates multiplication, it repurposes, displaces, renames, replicates, and intensifies terms, adding yet more texture, increased vitalization
-it is a sensuous node
-making (my points) a composite of affects and percepts --> speciation is always a cultivated response ***

*trap: “means also mouth, or mode of utterance; it is the “O” curve of lips and throat that makes sounds phonic and names the apprehension of becoming bodily. A trap, in weaving, is also a break in the threads, an unraveling, loosening, unwinding that opens up space. When we think of spider webs, trap is a silk net, a sticky mesh that registers sensation. For the spider, its trap is its nearby-ness, its where-ness, its with-ness. [--> lure;] (Hayward and'>& Weinstein)
-how, then, might we hear the phrase “trapped in the wrong body” as less about authenticity (fixity and normativity) than about *textures of spacetime* (prefixial movements)?

[harkate johari حرکت جوهری ~/=? harkate pishvandi حرکت پیشوندی]._/'--> Sadra


(Susan Stryker warns) that transsexuals, in their capacity to be monstrous, arise, like Frankenstein's creature, from the operating tables of their (re)birth as “something more, and something other” than their medical service providers may have intended or imagined
more and'>& other =/= with and'>& of


*gender: sociopoliical taxomomizing ontologically distinct form (entwined) with enfleshed mattering


*animality: sensuous materialities, composites of affects and percepts, specificities but remain thresholds of emergence, individuation that prompt sensuous intra- and interchange ==> provocations

(Weaver, Kelley, Weinstein, Hayward, Kier, Franklin:) animal difference announces a radically singular Other marked by sexual differences

“trans-infused apprehensions and engagements with the expansive world of possibility opened up by non-anthropocentric perspectives.”


trans* + animal --> (alternative ways of envisioning) futures of:
•embodiment
•aesthetics
•biopolitics
•climates
•ethics


we have to negotiate the [contaminated concept of] human --(to deal with)--> the persistence of humanism in structures of thought


critical animal studies has(?) the transformative power to interrupt humanism and its sexually differentiated legacy by challenging the boundaries between, and existence of, differentiated, essential kinds.

robust, nondualistic theories of human/animal

Critical Life Studies
•*species panic* (<-- the concept of the homosexual panic defense) {androids: species + trans embodiment}--> **genuine animals** transitivity: “shifting positions on a series of spectrums, where human, animal, and machine bleed into one another” [Huebert]--{"it”: exclusive right of gendered pronouns--"it” ascribed to artificial animals and androids --> the distinction between “genuine” and “inauthentic”; “it” leaves us in a perpetual species panic}
•*animal symbolic* --> origin of the construction of the human located in sexual difference [Nurka]
it seems with ‘human’ one always spring inexorably back to sex --> sexual difference and its origins in the problematic of difference
-individuating difference ==>? prepositional singularities--the potentialities to differ that are not yet stabilized into the categories of an individual
[Nurka > Colebrook] concept of “transitive indifference” transforms the self/other pairing beyond the demands of recognition and relation --> (all-too-often) animal difference serves to secure human sameness [=/= ouroboros abyssal beastliness] --> ontological difference serves only to erect man as the being for whom “the world is nothing more than the arena whereby he recognizes his proper difference,”
•*animal techne* ~~--> Jackass and'>& Wildboyz : animality is viscerally, painfully, and transformatively encountered or enacted by the human body [Seymour], sliding down the animacy hierarchy [Chen], gesturing toward various interconnected trans-(species) corporalities performed in (Critical Life Studies texts and) Wildboyz (=/= elite status of human) --> (Barad's) ethics of mattering : connections of human and nonhuman life always already taking place on bodies*****


transdisciplinarity: a self-adaptive complexity [...] foreground[ing] the transduction of knowledge as it passes across and between the interpretive and methodological planes of composing knowledge. (Katie King)

“distributed being and cognition”

...attendant mammalian attachment

individuating indifference

(anthropocene's iteration of the) expansionist logic of manifest destiny



-situated knowledges (Haraway)
-trans-knowledges (Hayward)

[*]trans- : *promise of moving across without holding tightly to the locations that it is moving from*, crossing of spacetime, a movement within relationship [~/=? inheritance, the experience of being tied to a long string that is stretching and is connected to somewhere]
coalitional thinking = trans-knowledge --Hayward--> (~= my work: heuristic + trans-) a thought here, then a reflection, perhaps a question that prompts another story, and probably a walk full of pointing and talking, walking on scales [on burdens and atrocities of abundance] (--> I use:) translation, transfiguration, transformation, trans-differentiation, transcription
-what happens to knowing when it is crossing, trans- materializes that process of movements, *marks the where-ness of with-ness*

my stories of getting to know one another and recognizing affinities in apass

environmental injustices always play themselves on bodies of knowledges and histories as well

-how does my lectures, a heuristic way of knowing through trans-, could or should “provide insights” into injustices and inequalities?
-how i have, as an iranian or foreigner, differently marked body and history entry points into understanding and acting on problems?


neritic
oceanic
benthic

minute biota
micro-viruses, bacteria, and endless cycles of decay and regeneration
...the water formed nearly three billion years ago
pulsing temporalities...

(you and things are) surprise =/= accident

dispossessions. dislocations. disease. greed. racism.
the always-limited, limiting promise of prosperity

[*]racism: an environmental catastrophe, toxic by-product of the industry called racial thinking and un-thinking (the fantasy attached to what race is thought to be), a deadly ambivalence or refusal to see how race is at work in our lives
-humanness not yet available to all humans

[*]posthumanism (and its tools of “becoming animal” as effects of power writing about itself): privilege of having been human --> a racing, sexing, and classing ethos that cannot see itself as such
= a pretense of not already understanding humanness as a trans-, re-, and decomposing
(Hayward asking:) how can we talk about posthumanism (in 2014) *it is not that we have made humanness a more available category in sixty years, but that those whose humanness was already certain (say, white, able-bodied, men) are in the luxurious position of sloughing off their humanity* (-fuck!)
}=/= trans-differentiations, de-composings[~ marks the loss of composure, of control ==> exposes the composite shape of life. to de-compose is the promise we must keep -Hayward]


racialization of ecological crises (?)
(pollutions felt by who? -the poor, the birds,)


the old tradition of seeing yourself that unwelcomed alienated guest on the earth (آمدنم بهر چه بود)

planetary accountability

(@artists, when and how you are) moved to a closer look**
horrified, disgusted, and drawn in

Hayward: what would an ardently materialist eco-critical race politics look like?
[=/= toward materiality: bumptious liveliness of matter ==> to deracinate life, to depoliticize worldliness]

to host a guest: an ethics of care, a willingness to remain open to a guest without anticipation or expectation
(hospital =) alter the equation of hostile to hostel. Is this what is meant by hospitality?


Leo's angry and productive underbelly
Leo's take on honesty: real and raw

(gardens are full of) grotesqueness and splendor, death and life, delicacy and treachery, softness and sting

transgenerational
regenerations

liminal: a threshold without a value, a doorway without assurance

that false divide between life and death (somebody animating it)


(Eszter's lace-like interiors)


loss ==shapes==> our relationship to the living (@Jassem)

(*ambivalence of loss and remembering* in the) melancholic calculus of the archive: “what is lost can become what is preserved as part of the self”
-as an environment sickens and dies we harbor the loss

(hope =/= salvation)

...learning a new grammar of animacy (with Hayward)

“[...]memories of excess and delight, freaks, fright, and exploitations. Too much sugar. Surprise. And disappointment. Larger than life. Grotesque. Alluring. Captivating. Calling. Their juxtaposition in this contradictory scape of sea, desert, and mountains--surreal”

(the mer-creature) a living condensation and displacement of what people imagined as real

...how little is needed to prompt the imagination: paint, wheels, and wood.

(US/Mexico or land/ocean borders...) a space about who and what cannot move, of who and what falls apart, or of who and what is lost

...................................

(the inter- and trans-action of) learning, playing and thought



in ajayeb what are the:
•animacy hierarchies (--Chen)
•exposed and transparent conditions of possibility (--Hayward) ==> becomings and assemblages
•ontological fixities
•enactment of large-scale fantasies (--Chen)
•


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(Mehran Rad) on description of spring
kofr کفر <--> “nature” (tabi'at طبيعت) <---> bahar بهار <--> bot-khane بت خانه
Manuchehri: نوبهار آمد و آورد گل و یاسمنا باغ همچون تبت و راغ بسان عدنا http://ganjoor.net/manoochehri/divanm/ghaside-ghete/sh1/
Hafez: کنون که در چمن آمد گل از عدم به وجود بنفشه در قدم او نهاد سر به سجود http://ganjoor.net/hafez/ghazal/sh219/
=/= durdastha دوردستها, beyonds

donya دنیا <--> gozar گذر
-->? materialist

Nezami:
بهاری داری ازوی بر خور امروز که هر فصلی نخواهد بود نوروز
گلی کو را نبوید آدمی زاد چو هنگام خزان آید برد باد


(ruse, san'at صنعت -->) hile حیله =/= sho'bade شعبده (shab-bazi شب بازی, neyrang نیرنگ,)


lahn-haye jahan
لحنهای جهان

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(feral?) table of contents
how we know that contents are tabled at all? --> inheritances of taxonomy, natural philosophies aesthetics: tamed facts
#Rigs, my ajayeb diagrams

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ajayeb's histories (~ ajayeb's historically situated relational worldings) =/= societies of individuals in human-only histories (~ Euclidean figures and stories of Man)

(which network is?) a netbag for collecting up what is crucial for ongoing

ajayeb's technotheocratic geoengineering [, it “fixes” some common imaginations the “affairs of life,” and not specifically the “afterlife,” (within the {terminology ~} figural-conceptual powers of syms and material-semiotic time-space of the Indo-Greco-Arab-Turko-Persian terra taxa)]
•periods of time
•“known” life
•abode (budgah بودگاه, Wohnplatz)
•donya دنيا


-stories that focus on composition rather than [...]