[...] contractual

..and i can't tell grave from garden

-perhaps i have been unconsciously working on the question of “why are we here?” or “am i here?”
-cartographies of thinking--&--how i am inscribed in them
(itineraries i am stuck with)
going to a place =/= embrace it as a site
--> always i have a resistance to where i am:
•the ways we lose a sense of place --> displacement
•the ways we experience livability through places
(has to do with my own broken/corrupt/fubar link with ancestry <-- only “your people” can show you how to imagine it, the center/home)

transportation --{traumatic & distruptive}--> transformation

time of surprise ==> nonanimal (udyr)
-nature-culture patchworks
-perspectival and performative
-contaminative and communicative
*fantastic and real vision*
-things that don't fit together, yet, there *are* together --> sym (=/= bifurcation) --> awkward relations & interrupting categories
•(necrophobia)
•schizophrenic relations to...
•deconstruction of presence...

(for you there is also) ***many fantastically large set of contexts within which to say “yes”***

(Tsing's) *contaminated diversity* (complicated, ugly, humbling) [=/= ‘endangered species’ and cultures (innocent victims of human progress)]
-implicates survivors in histories of greed, damage, and destruction --> cacophony of troubled stories --might--> help to learn something about the cultural and natural histories at stake
-difficult to love and relate

joint organs {part plant, part fungus} interspecies phisiology ==> *mushroom*



*tumble: falll down as if collapsing (from upright position), thrown together (in mess, and very difficult to rewind)
=/= transcend
=/= entropy

•bodies tumble into bodies --> monsters
•histories tumble into histories --> ghosts
•stories tumble into stories --> lures

(material lifeworld tumble into) forests tumble into fables tumble into politics tumble into ...

***dispersal & entanglement*** {
•dispersal --> shattered, torn, broken, dispersed, made particulate, whisked away on the breeze (--> smoke, Urashima turning into particls, dud to cough with سرفه sorfe) [<-- Jassem and Mia] --> time is crossed out ويرانه
•entanglement --> patchwork, care, weave, (together, reconnected, acknowledging care and entanglement) [<-- Kirsten] --> time of the hut کاشانه
} “&” --> ??? stories? reciprocal capture ==> immanent new modes of existing (in damage and loss) [<-- Sina] --> time (and things) are diffractivelly/differentially constituted


as humans we also have these qualities:
•our plasticity
•our ability to be affected
•our ability to hybridize


(modern human activity, burning man insults ==>) [*]monsters: ajayeb-e wonders of symbiosis (threats of ecological disruption, multispecies entanglement)
(Tsing, a useful figure to think with ==>)
•they help to pay attention to (ancient chimeric) entanglement
•they point to monstrosity of man
•they point toward life's symbiotic entanglement across bodies
monsters: nature suddenly unfamiliar (acting like udyr)

[*]ghosts: phantoms inside [your] (natural) history, layered temporalities of living and dying (==shape==> landscapes), creatures of ambivalent entanglement --> (help us read) *life's enmeshment in landscapes*


suffering from the ill of another species (or people):
•bacteria inside (<== pollution, radiation)
•people next door (<== war, politics)
}--> this is the condition of anthropocene entanglement



[productive horror of our civil performance--Kirsten, Sina, Jassem and Mia:]

temporalities of ruin, body, optics
                   |     |     |
       matrix of rage, lure, desire

rage (violently affective contact)
--> ghosts: [--> Jassem and Mia's performance ~ “big story"]
•**histories tumbled into histories** (“ghosts” <== bad death <== settler colonialism + expansive capitalism --> they brought with them a peculiar kind of time: looking straight ahead to the future [==> optimization & salvation of a *single past*] --> ruthless ambition & [modernity's time:] metronomic synchrony 🕓)
•animating feral and partial connections
•remind us of an *impossible present* (that we live in)
* (embodied) contingency, asymmetry, indeterminacy *
•hauntings (are not immaterial!) : presumptive absence (presumed in the absence)

lures
--> monsters: [--> Kirsten's objects ~ small stories, little niches with ghostly contours (like a car's tire) ~ things growing in abundant]
•**bodies tumbled into bodies** (“monsters” <== assets and wastes (animal entanglement with the burning man) <-- bad symbiosis)
* unspectacular afterlife of discarded things * (debris of capitalist waste)
•weaving magical figures, conjuring fictions
•constant speculation, that are fed and touched, reparative and tender
•textured, formful, colorful
*lure: things that evoke or capture feelings and responses ==> to lure out relational responses

desire (superposition)
--> optics: (a form of distance) [--> Sina's stories ~ superposition [different scales] of dispersed times [~ unruly temporalities], multiple practice of knowing smallbig spacetime mattering]
•**positions tumbled into positions** (tumbled into politics: some instruments of seeing producing perspectives are more guilty than others)
* (disembodied) multiple practices of knowing --> landscapes: arrangement of life and afterlife, space that grows from ‘endings’ <== ‘death of’(s) ~~> contaminated (stories/diversities)
--> diagram: http://ajayeb.net/?q=rationalizable
(Sina performing) diffractive optics of knowing ==> ongoing articulation [=/= perspective]


•i shouldn't be talking, opening this
|
•remembrance --> Bambi's mother studies {what if remembering is something totally different than “lost member"}
|
•fox story --> animal trap:
◦perception {rhetorical perception, evil perception, etc.}
◦lure 🌀 can't stop following, trap: nearby-ness, becoming bodily, engaged in perspectival game and will ==> fox's relation to the forest [he is suspicious and rend =/= *lured into desiring & trusting* : we bring our lures and needs towards each other, (sometimes it is) critique is an art that tangles with what you are proposing, like fox in a lure (octopus is much better with lures than fox)]
◾propositions
◾abstractions --> (i love) ideas: to animate humans, erotic lure for soul ==> *metamorphic attention*
|
•omen --> potent sign of alarm
|
•evil {category crossing monsters [~= ajayeb's context of evil], force of liberation, beauty, complexity}
|
•Ursula's sea (from little mermaid):
◦the way she says “yes” {multisensorial call “yes” and “more"}
◦her laughter {develish perception, perceptual joke, joy of corrupting her morality [~ her heroism: who the hero is and how to live happily ever after]}
◦fish-story --> aqua culture
|
•Ursula La Guin --> Urashima story
|
•finish with evil laughter


(follow the departure from ‘evil’ to ‘misunderstanding’ or ‘perspective’ in Disney's animated movies)


[according to *creation ancestral dreamings*(~ founding ancestors):] shape-shifter (are not only haunted, but also are) creators of biotic life, founders of kin groups (of humans and ghosts)

...................................

the wind (of...?) carries ghosts--signs of past ways of life still charged in the present ... stories of those winds as they blow over haunted landscapes ... ghosts are the traces of more-than-human histories through which ecologies are made and unmade
*haunted --> presence of past
*landscapes --> arrangement of living spaces
*ghosts --> disturb us in their indeterminacy


-cracked cement
-worlds have ended many times before @Jassem
-which ‘endings’ come with which ‘death of’?
•a leaf
•a city
•a friendship
•a small promise
•a small story
•
***endings ==grow==> landscapes***


[title]
shadow biology



Jassem: make sami complicated

project's two categories:
•nature --> perverse
•culture --> endanger[...]