[...]m I including in my speech a rhetoric of faltering, self-sabotage, and hesitation?
should I edit it out? edit out the “I am not sure,” those self-canceling moments from my expression?
(my) thoughts deserve elegant expressions***


translation of this is very unstable


(according to Hölderlin)
we arrive at the truth / the moment that the truth or Das Wahre emerges / the moment it closing in on us, is when we have to say goodbye



(these are rather ‘stances,’ than ‘questions’)
how the poet-Attar serves or is served-up and devastated by language?



blast has a sense of destruction to it, and destruction is good and necessary, it clears away what is already dead and hanging around burdening your being. blast is not a devastation, devastation promises no futurity

-who are you destroyed by?

whom am I addressing here? but more importantly, who or what is addressing me here (in a non-present way)?

San'an/girl/pig assemblage
(what is girl in San'an story? what is animal in San'an story?)

San'an story, as a scenography of sexual difference, and ironization (to make ironic in appearance or effect) of question and answer, Q&As in Attar

there is a dramaturgy of repudiation (when the students ask and blame---everyone is insulted) --> Student is whom that which defines what is *failure* (--'to be fixed’ =? origin of teaching)
{pupil is that which ‘summons’ the master - استاد احضار}

ملامت

...and an idealization of the self, and not the object
[where is the object in San'an poem? where is the shadow, the dead?]


basically here, I am opening a Derridean expanse


...full path of an another Dasein


how far we are from the Dionysian Athenian festival? Lenaia, a dramatic/comic competition of theatrical plays; coming from those of aristocrats and wine-mixing rituals, also where Aristophanes was testing ground and staging and test-audiencing his first texts and performances. and his “The Frogs” won the first prize actually. it is a divine comedy, Dionysus and Heracles etc. and it has a choral interlude sung by the eponymous chorus of frogs, a frog greatest-hits. (on his trip to Rome, is San'an going to encounter other texts?)

the concept of ملامتگر (Malamatgar) or the one who reproaches is both central and peripheral in the story of Sheikh San'an. the story shows the crucial transformation of the students of the sheikh from ‘followers’ to ملامتگر. the stake are high at students’ behavior and not San'an's. the story tells that when your love falls in love with another person--that person, being a pagan gorgeous girl, a pig, or another idol--you must also fall in as well. it is important to understand whose perspective here is blamed for whose expectations. students’ project is expectation (of Sheikh)--is the pillar in the narrative. the failure to change and ability to experience that other perspective, and in this case the perspective of your significant-other's lover, results into the inception of ملامتگر and that is definitional for the formation of ملامتگر: someone who refuses to exercise another selfhood.

(This is also the central theme of the story of Moses and Khidr, in which Moses as follower/student becomes the Malaamatgar thing. This attitude of Khidr or San'an is provoking their audience to go beyond any version of fixation ---Attar's idea of unfixity of discipleship's authenticity is kind of messed up)
how San'an is over or not over the material and his boner direction or erection is towards which psychoanalytically accessible phallus?

His students are following him backward!?
“Authentic disciple of four hundred men, were regressed (zurückschreiten) on a journey with him.” [why Attar is insisting on the authenticity of the disciple and apprenticeship?]


we should always ask where this text comes from.


I try not to pre-program what is going to happen. [here now]


--> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9SIL38hkgw
in the Shams Group music video, the soldiers in the video are having the little-Rumi-packet in their backpacks, along with other suicides. (other soldiers having Holderlin or Nietzsche in their backpacks)



metaphysical strongholds


to keep partnership with the self, so that there can be interlocution
(is this a possible ethics? --> “can I live with myself?”)



what one does to be in consonant with what one is capable of.
(then what is vowel?) vowel switches tracks and resonations
...penetrative grasp of a text, discovery and recreative apprehension of it life-forms, is impossible to paraphrase or systematize.


[Michel Serres]


...temporal and local settings of one's text. (to master it?)


to read X, is literally, to ‘prepare’ to read X


in certain civilizations there comes epochs in which syntax stiffens...
Changing landscape of fact


words, the guardians of meanings, are not immortal.


note on history: past is a language construct, that the past tense of the verb is the sole guarantor of history.


to read: is to restore all that one can of the immediacies of value and intent in which speech actually occurs.


What material reality has history out of language? --the Tasawwuf/Tasavof verbal linguistic tradition

...to remind you that everything is the condition of madness.


(protest against “was” ---> go to Attar's relation with biographies in Tazkirat al-Awliya---he mobilizes ‘personalities’ in the index of his mystic-ontological demand---what would the lack of personality take revenge of Attar?)
we are at a tense past and a past tense---prison tense


..the landscape composed by the past tense, the semantic organization of remembrance... is styled and coded differently by cultures. --miniature illustrating San'an?


The verbal icon made up of all successive translations of Greek literature and philosophy has oriented fundamental movements in Islamic feelings --Farabi, Mirdamad, etc.


My translation of classics is not out of a vital compulsion for immediacy or precise echo. I am not trying to build my own resonant past. Myth of the ‘true past’...  different perspectives can co-exist and blur


the metaphysics of the insult, in San'an story


I am interested in the conventions in which texts can be read, in which a semantic statement can be carried over into someone's own idiom. I am teaching how to reread texts of Attar and so forth.
I think we have civilization because (we have learned) ‘to translate out of time’



übertragen,
handing down thought narrative,
something that also depends on transfer of meaning in *space*



San'an's sudden interest in the woman/child (Tarsaa could also be a young boy) reminds us the uniquely vulnerable and creative condition of the childhood

privileged inferiority (of both child and woman)

we are dealing with both intercourse and discourse


how his voice will change after San'an actually gets the girl?


...communication like breathing is subject to obstruction and homicidal breakdowns, under stress of hatred, of boredom, or of sudden panic, great gaps open ...that their previous understanding had been based on a trivial pidgin which had left the heart of meaning untouched.


What is the female speech in San'an?

-the breakdowns and translations in San'an story.
-The sexual translation and breakdown of linguistic exchange in San'an story.


...having an ‘ear’ for contrasting pressures of sexual discourse or identity


in San'an, man and woman, each respective experience of Eros and language had set them desperately apart.


In whose idiom, male or female, one can grasp (only) falsehood or menace?


...as declaimer of my own stifled, tongue



my performance, corresponding to my level of literacy, and a private thesaurus, part of my subconscious and personal memories, and using the singular and irreducibly specific ensemble of somatic and psychological identity.


the i[...]